Last Day At Ameriprise

If I had two other co-workers walking out with me today, I would imagine our conversation going like this:

BRIAN
Wow, our last day at Ameriprise.

COWORKER1
I can't believe they had security escort us out. Not like we're gonna steal something.

COWORKER2
I stole something.

BRIAN
Oh yeah. I guess we all did.

COWORKER2
No, I stole something else.

COWORKER1
What did you steal?

PETER
We'll call it a going away present.

[Scene A field. They drop the printer. COWORKER1 stomps on it four times and BRIAN, eight times. COWORKER2 hands COWORKER1 a bat. He hits the printer twice and BRIAN takes over. He starts to punch it. COWORKER1 and COWORKER2 pull him away, but he runs back to destroy the evil printer.]