The rest of the... .weekend

SATURDAY
After realizing my phone was dead and not very usable... i was a little depressed. Oh well. Wah wah. So i decide in order to get rid of the pain, what better way than going to BW3's to watch a UFC fight. My buddy Cash picks me up in his Lexus sporty looking car. Pretty nice, except for it's a 2 seater and the backseat is about the size of a laundry basket. Luckily he makes her ride in the back. I felt bad, but move on.

We end up going to BW3s in Addison (pretty much Southern Oklahoma for those of you that don't know Dallas). BW3s was way to crowded and Cash had some friends across the street at Hooters. Great. It's been over 2.5 years since I've been to Hooters. The food sucked, the beer was average, and the chocolate cake was decent (yes... i think i'm the only one to have ever ordered this). Cash proceeds to drink 2 bottles of wine by himself. He's not doing so hot.

We find our way over to another bar in Addison. At this point I've already vomited three times due to the high amount of cheese that exists in Addison. It's a meat market on angel dust... not my kind of place. We have 2 drinks. Cash is doing worse. GRAPEVINE time of course.

Roll in. Thank goodness i didn't close out the night before... so i just reopen and we go back to the bottle... bottle of bubbly that is. Proceed to the back... Cash says he will be right back. I begin talking to his girlfriend. 15 minutes later... no site of Cash... maybe we should go find him. We find him at the bar... pretty much passed out. The bartender attempts to revive him... not with CPR... but with red bull. Gives him just enough energy to make it to the car. I squeeze into the laundry basket back seat... and they drive me home.

SUNDAY:
Cash calls and wants to go to the Rangers Vs Red Sox game. I can't say no. We go... stay for about 5 innings. Drink a beer and two margaritas. Pretty tasty. At this point we are kind of hungry. We drive around for two hours... and attempt to go to four strip clubs (all are either closed or are not serving food). Not sure why he was so set on seeing boobs and eating food... but i let it pass and go with the flow.

Finally i get home. Run to the gingerman.... have a beer. Go back home. Pick up an old friend who really wants to go out, so i tell her i know of some fun things to do. Go back to uptown... roll over to jakes. Bucket of beer between the few of us. Hockey dave shows up for half an hour. Then we roll over to Idle Rich. Have a few drinks... time to go, but first... Chugging Contest. Me vs Fowler.. miller lite. I get my ass handed to me. Damn. Not the first time. BACK TO THE GINGERMAN

On the way i realize in my drunken phase that my phone that keeps calling my mom and the 9 key does not work is pretty useless. It is at this point that i begin to throw my phone as high as i can and let it smack the ground (This is not a first for me...). Up and down a few times... and i'm amazed it still works. It was pretty cool, because as teh phone flew up in the air, it would light up, and look like a shooting star. All of us drunks were amazed. I get to the bar... and it is still able to light up. I'm kind of excited that its not completly broken. Then, fowler asks to see it. I hand it to him. What does he do. He throws it in my beer. At this point, i continue to drink my beer with the phone in it. I'm not bothered by the phone not working, and even still am not. Shit happens.

At the Gman... some darts and more beers and a casual prank drunk dial to my sister, good times. I call fowler out again for another chugging contest. We start... I get about 3/4 done and realize i can't do it. Fux. But wait, I look at him and he still has half a beer left. I can beat him. I raise my glass. And finish. Slam the glass down. Victory.

At this point... I'm tired and drunk. Take me home now.

Monday--- Pretty lame day. Laundry. Cleaning. and a hell of a lot of sleeping.

Peyton Boyd

So it was another Gekius kind of night/experience. The night started pretty chill with three shiner bachs at the Stoneleigh P. My Friday early evening staple. This was followed by dinner at Louie's with the hockey team. Great pizza... some bud lite out of a can and then it's time to go.

We head over to the Old Monk... drink some awesome Sierra Nevada. The Monk is bumping full of interesting people, then someone throws out that we should go across the street to Candle Room. Not really my kind of place, so all 6 of us guys head over there. At this point I'm a Stage 2 drunk (there are 5 stages).

Walk in to the candle room... wtf... is this a gay bar, because everyone here is a guy.. except for those 8 hot girls that wouldn't look my way if i pissed on their feet. Every guy there is a Cash McMogulson wannabe (aka typical Dallas stereotypes). A beer and two back to back tequila shots later i enter Stage 3. It is at this time that everything begins to get a little hazy. Another guy really wants to go to the grapevine... so me being in my drunken state say hell to the yeah and we make our way over there. We must have taken a cab, because i have no idea how we got there.

Walk into the Grapevine. Must be gay night again. My buddy and I order our typical drink at the Grapevine... two bottles of champagne. I'm not sure why he always wants this, I think it's because he wants to look cool. Several glasses of champagne... and i enter Stage 4. I now have stopped encoding memories and the rest of the night is based on what i heard and from the information in my phone.

Apparently i met a girl named Rachel. I have no idea what she looks like, but i do know that to night is her 10 year high school reunion. No idea what she looks like, but i do know that in my drunken state, an alpha mu could have looked like Britney Spears (in her prime... not post 2 babies and divorce).

My buddy's girl picks us up in the Defender. His girlfriend speaks about 15% English... and he speaks about 5% Spanish. So you can imagine that their conversations must be pretty deep. He tells her to drop him off and pick up some taco cabana for him and i got to go with her. Kind of strange if you ask me, i guess i figured he would just come with us... but no. Some how when i get the water... i drop it all over me... and my jeans are soaked. Great.

She drops me off... pass out. Wake up... naked. Apparently i just took all cloths off since i was soaking wet. I realize my phone is not with me. Fuck. Not again. It's 8 am. I was supposed to go running with someone at 8... oh well.. i'll go on my own so i can get my car and get my back up phone out of my car. I start running. It hurts more than hemorrhoids (just a guess).

I make it to my car... get my back up phone... activate. Call my buddy... he has my phone. Awesome. I pick it up from him. Open it.. and all the suddenly it says "Calling Mom". Um.. not now. Close it... open it... "Calling Mom". Maybe the phone just needs to be restarted. Turn Off. Turn on. Open. "Calling Mom". Wtf. This is shit. Take it to the sprint store. Apparently there is corrosion in the phone and it is not repairable. Fuck. 200 dollar phone down the drain. Worse things have happened.

I'm about to go out again... night two... here we go.

Seven Random Things About Me

My sister recently posted Seven Random Facts about her... and so I decided to copy her as a good younger brother should. So here they are:

1. When I was a kid I went through a magic phase and was obsessed with it. I read some books on Harry Houdini and even had my sister and her friend tie me up with ropes and chains and put me in the closet. Of course I always escaped since I'm writing this today, but it was always something i thought was cool. The one escape trick i always wanted to try was the Straight Jacket escape, for some reason it seemed like a cool trick to do.

2. My driving record is pretty crappy. I was in my first accident at the age of 16 when i rammed into the back of a mustang with my truck. Smart Move. At 20, someone ran into the back of me. At 21, my truck got totalled and was not my fault, I was the only one in the accident involving four cars that walked away without a scratch or broken bone. At the age of 23, I got a ticket for running a red light... bastard cop... it was so Yellow. At the age of 24, I got two speeding tickets... both of which were bullshit.

3. I've never had a McDonald's Hamburger and I don't plan on it. For some reason they have never appealed to me and if i go there, which i can't remember the last time, I order Chicken Nuggets.

4. I've never voted in a presidential, state, or local election and do not believe that i ever will unless i feel it is necessary. Haven't really ever yet, I guess it's because I'm not very political and feel like politics is a bunch of crap. Oh well.

5. I am obsessed with money and worry that my accounts are being drained at this very moment. I check my bank account, credit cards, 401k, Roth, and other balances at least twice a day. In fact.. shit.. need to check now. BRB. ..... ok, everything is still like it was this morning. I can relax.

6. When I was a kid I was afraid of the dark and always felt like someone was going to try and get me for some reason. In order to alleviate this fear, my sister would sleep in the same bed as me. For some reason, i felt safter this way.

7. My sophomore college roommate was a pretty fat kid wanted to be call the L Train. He ran for High School Class president (and lost) and his slogan was "Vote for Lance, the Kid with Big Fat Pants". I shake my head in disappointment and shame thinking of this. His favorite movie is lord of the rings. He slept in jeans and shoes on multiple occasions. He was your stereotypical dork. Lucky for me I was never there because I stayed at my girlfriend's place almost every night (except maybe 2 out of the 250 nights or so).

That is all. Now these things are no longer random. Ta Da!

Sanjaya and Mary Poppins

Set your world on fire! I’m having a blast in Kalifornia with my hot esian friend and the girlfriend of his friend. We’ve been checking out her thong when she bends over, but we try to hide it.

Today it was pink.

So pink thong girl and I went to go play poker at Harrahs and my hot Esian buddy went to go play Blackjack cause his parents never let him learn how to play poker. When I last saw him, he was making out with a 70 year old white woman with her husband standing behind her. He disapproved. Esian boy accused me of stealing his cigarette on his ear that he felt gave him magical powers.

Apparently the white woman was helping him gamble, although I think his wad complications had something to do with it.

Pink thong girl won $300 and said lets shake our asses. I said ok. We got the Esian guy and went to a club called Blu. Guys had to pay 10 bucks to get in, but it was dollar drinks for you call its. We got pink thong girl even more drunk and tried to get her to dance on the pole. Instead, she got her freak on with Philippinos wearing silver and gold medallions like Flava Flave. We were disappointed.

We also then had to take a body guard role when the stalkers came. Some stalker kept trying to dance with pink thong girl so we started molesting her to prove we weren’t gay. He didn’t go away, so Esian boy said we should go sit down. The f-er followed us to the couches which we thought was super psycho. I think pink thong girl secretly liked him cause she thought some nasty ass bartenders were cute. The guy was like 45, whatever.

So after getting back to the hotel Esian boy stripped down to his whitey boxer briefs and jumped into bed. Pink thong girl and I ended up watching JT and Fergie videos. She kinda looks like Fergie. Pink thong girl always thought I was gay, so this probably didn’t help.

I mentioned that there was this crazy ass Mary Poppins video remake that was cut to make it seem like it was a scary ass movie. We watched that and watched the Sanjaya on fire video too. Now I can’t get that damn song stuck out of my head. Fucking Sanjaya.

Califorrrrrrrrrrrrnia

So many people did not believe my last post... but it was in fact true. I'm now sitting in my hotel at Embassy Suites in Lake Tahoe working... pretty cool eh.

The past few days have been pretty awesome. I woke up Saturday morning and our flight was landing in San Fran. We took the BART into town and found our Hilton Hotel pretty easily. Our room was bad ass with a balcony that overlooked downtown and the beds were great as always at hiltons. Started the day by taking a cab to Fisherman's Wharf... walked around a lot and saw the Sea Lions and they were pretty crazy if you ask me. Ate some awesome crab and great clam chowder. After that we rented bikes and rode an 8 mile journey around the bay and over the golden gate bridge. It was incredibly windy and biking up hills is 10 times harder than i ever thought it would be. Shot out to any one that bikes a lot... because it is not as easy as i thought. After that fun journey we took a ridiculously long fairy ride back to Pier 41... dropped off our bikes and headed to china town. The restaurant we ate at was so so... and the food was ok. I'm pretty sure there is a good chance the chicken was cat... and the pork was really dog. Not that i would know, but .. yeah. After that we went back to our hotel... it was pretty late and we were all pretty beat (my ass hurt really bad from the bike seat... all of ours did). We ended up just staying in that night... very relaxing.

Sunday we woke up and made the fun drive to Napa Valley. Wow, it was awesome. We went to a few wineries... saw some pretty landscapes. Ate some food... then headed towards Lake Tahoe. We got a little lost and i failed as navigator somewhat... but it ended up creating a very scenic route... and we got to stop at In And Out burger. Pretty tasty. We ended up getting to Harrah's around 945 PM... checked in and got a sweet upgrade to a bad ass room with a huge bath tub that had jets. Some how, all three of us fit into it and relaxed for about an hour. After that, we decided we needed to go out. Went down to the casino... played some black jack, dance at the club a little, had some drinks, and then all the sudden it was 230 am. Awesome. Probably should go to bed since I had to wake up in 4 hours for a conference call (time difference). Passed out pretty quickly.

Today... I've mostly been working and enjoying the view. It's been great and i recommend it highly. Pictures will be posted when i get back if any good ones come out.

Peace.

Cali

Tonight a buddy of mine came to town from cali... and by tonight i mean friday night.


It is now 320 am... i haven been to bed yet and i booked a flight to San Frna about 6 hours ago that leaves in 3 hours. Wait for it. I've been waiting for a reason to go.. and it came up... so I'm going... Gekius stories are guranteed.

Stay orange. This is me breathing.

you too?

So here are situations I kind of hate it... because i catch myself saying You too... when it clearly makes no sense.

Scenario: I'm on the phone with my client. It is Thursday afternoon. My flight is in about 3 hours and this is the last time I will speak with her until after my flight. End of conversation goes something like this...

Me: yada yada wrap up conversation yada yada
Client: Hope you have a safe flight
Me: You too (thinking wait... she isn't flying... I'm the one that is going to have a safe flight, not her)
Client: Bye bye
Me: Bye

So why did I say you too. My best guess is that i said it out of bad habit because this situation happens a lot to me. Is this just my own personal problem... or does it happen to you too?

don't put that up your nose

Kids love to do crazy stupid things... such as stick things up their noses. One of my sibblings as a kid stuck a bead up her nose and it got stuck. She had to go to the emergency room.


The kid in the photo above definitely has two crayons in his nose at the moment. I'm not sure if he was able to get them out, or if he was doing this for an art project to make two straight lines with two colors at the exact same time.

We all make mistakes.... i just make at least one per day.

And I digress.

Tonight I went to two bars... had zero beers. Beat it.

Last night, the Bruins faced a tough loss to the Devils. Tomorrow night is game 2 out of 3 in the series. I'll get off the plane about 630... then make it to the game by 8. Game time is 830... it is a must win situation or the season is over for good.

Jucy Whocy?

Last night I was able to experience Minneapolis more than I ever have in the past 16 months that I have been here. A good friend of my roommate lives here and I went out with her and her boyfriend and got to see some interesting places around the Minneapolis area.

We started at a placed called Matt's Bar which is kind of a dive type of bar that only accepts cash. They are infamous in Minneapolis for their Jucy Lucy burgers which consist of two meat patties cooked with cheese in between them. So basically when you bite into the burger, ridiculously hot cheese goes everywhere. They are very tasty and are a great idea, but I believe they would taste better with some good ole Texas Beef, but that's just my opinion.

After eating delicious fatty burgers, we drove to a place called Pyscho Suzies which is well known for their crazy hawaiianish drinks. We ordered a Volcanic Eruption which is 50 oz of rum mixed with other crap and in the middle of the bowl is a small amount of 151 that is lit on fire and remains on fire for about 5 minutes. Pretty cool idea if you ask me. After a few cherry tying contests in the mouth and finishing that... it was time for me to go to bed.

My time here in Minneapolis is winding down... I'm glad I got to see something more than Nicolett Mall and the rest of downtown. I'll probably miss this place in a lot of ways, but being back in Texas for a while will also be really nice. I'll know my departure date probably sometime this afternoon... wait for it.

Trifecta Celibratica

Yup... I did it. I completed the trifecta this week. Aka, going out and staying up until at least 2 am three school nights in a row. Not sure how or why... but i'll give a brief recap of the past three nights.

Tuesday - This was the only of the three nights that I got drunk. A friend of mine moves to LA today so he wanted to go out on Tuesday... not sure why i did. But i found myself at the Grapevine. Not sure if I have ever described the grapevine to Gekius readers, but it's a bar that typically has the following demographics:

85% Gay
5% Tranny(pre op)
2 % Tranny(post op)
10% Straight

I know... I know... these numbers don't add up. This is how f'd up the Grapevine really is... nothing really adds up there. I've seen some of the weirdest people there... and most of them have just finished dusting snakes. The music is always rockin... and this night nothing was different. Definitely by the end of the night some girl was flashing the bartender to get a free shot. And after flashing the bartender... she definitely turned and flashed us since we were some of the only people left at the bar. No thank you i thought politely. Anyways, we drank two bottles of champagne between us and the rest was history. And i digress.

Wednesday - I watch two television shows (American Idol and Medium). Everything is going great... it's 11 pm and I'm almost ready for bed. Then, my phone rings. I need to learn to just not pick it up at certain times from certain people. It was an old friend that i hadn't seen in 6 months and she wanted to go to ghost bar. So i go. I laid low most of the night, but she got wasted. Luckily i got to take care of her and babysit until 3 am. Long fun night.

Ghost Bar btw is another f'd up bar if you ask me. In my opinion... this is the breakdown of the ghost bar

-15% hottest porn star looking girls that are just there to get laid and free drinks
-60% biggest TDB (total douche bags) of the metroplex that are there to buy drinks and get laid
-3% normal people (I like to count myself in this category)
-17% of the people are from Grand Prairie. I definitely saw a guy with a pony tail down to his ass and he was dipping and spitting his shit in an ashtray... wtf is all I'm saying.
-4% of the people are retarded (this would include the staff)
-1% of the people are with escorts (aka the old Chinese business man with glasses that looks like a complete dork with the hot blond chick that is trying to act interested)

Anyways... that's just my breakdown of the bar. Go to it and form your own opinion... but tell me I'm not wrong after you go there.

Thursday - So i found out on Thursday night that one of my best friends (whom i will be his best man in his wedding in a few months), was in town. So of course i had to go out. I decided to lay pretty low again and only have a few beers. Night was fun and consisted of good bars for a change (idle rich and gingerman). All beer was paid for by his company... aka Kite-flying Passionate Motivators Galore (not sure what that means... but don't take it the wrong way... its just the only thing i could come up with that the letters might stand for?). All in all, the night was fun and Friday morning came too quickly. And i digress.

Tonight - Will be a low key. I plan on watching Pirates of the Caribbean part 2 since the lovely netflix fairy brought it to me yesterday. Tomorrow morning i have a 645 am run with a friend which should be great. Looking forward to it.

Back to work.

TV Sucks

I read today that this past spring, more than 2.5 million few people have been watching ABC, CBS, NBC, and FOX than at the same time last year.

Is this a bad thing.

No.

This is great. This means people are actually doing something other than watching Television. For once people might be getting off their butts and doing something other than watching a box with pictures and sounds frying our brains. Don't get me wrong, i own a television, two in fact, and I watch my fair share of shows. But I also believe that America needs to start spending less time in front of the box, and more time doing productive things.

Just a rant. See ya.

yup

so i'm pretty sure that what i just did was retarded. Sometimes I don't even think what I'm doing and next thing I know I wake up and its 9 am and i'm late for work. Life is weird. Someone please convince me that moving to another country is a good idea.

Therapy is in progress. This is me breathing.

Cinco de Seis

The weekend was a good one... went way to fast, but got some stuff done and had a good time.

Friday night started off at the Stoneleigh P with some coworkers and progressed through the night as we hopped bar to bar to bar. I was laying somewhat lay knowing that the 715 am the next morning would be coming very soon. Hit up the Loon, Idle Rich, Gingerman, Tribeca, and finally Quarter bar. Essentially we went to just about every bar off Mckinney in the Uptown area. After passing out quickly around 220 am, the alarm buzzed loud and clear that it was time to get up and shower.

Drove down to East Dallas and did Habitat For Humanity. It was great. We did landscaping for the house which is one of the last steps in the process of the house. Lots of grass was laid, and my back was definitely soar. We were able to complete 1.5 houses in about three hours. After that, we took a little trip to good ole freebirds and filled the stomach up. Got home around 1215... took another shower and prepared for the cinco de mayo party. I was in charge of cooking three pounds of meat which was a lot of fun. Then relaxed for a while until i got the idea to play some quarters. The fun began and the good times rolled. Following that, we hurried to the Gwen Stefani concert and had a good time. The show was fun and everyone had a good time.

Sunday morning came quick. I installed a ceiling fan in my living room (which was more of a work out then I ever thought it would be). Then went to drop 400 bucks on 2 new tires, oil change, and some new belts for my car... very nice. After that I went to the gingerman for a few beers with some friends, then went to half of a dinner party that a friend was having for his birthday. Left pretty quickly for my 845 pm game, which we lost 5-3, but it was still a fun game.

All in all, it was a good weekend. Busy week ahead, let's get it out of the way quickly. Ready ... break.

are you kidding

So I used the restroom (probably for the 5th time at work today, I've been drinking a lot of water if you can't tell) and there is a guy walking in right before me. He is using the urinal next to me... doing his thing, zips up, walks away. I don't hear any hand washing just a door swinging closed in the wind.

Normally, i just add these people to my dirty laundry list and try not to think much of it, but this guy was carrying items that should be sanitary. And by items, I mean a baby carrier dealio ( i don't know the real term because i don't know a damn thing about babies). After leaving the bathroom, he picks up the baby from his wife and put it in the carriage. He may as well have dropped his pants, taken a slash (Australian for piss) all over the baby, and then rubbed his marbles all over the baby. Hopefully he didn't give the baby scabies or anything nasty like that.

I really hope he ate crawfish prior to using the restroom, because everyone knows that when at a crawfish boil, wash before and after or else you'll get some scary disease.

i'm not mad... i'm just disapointed

I've been living in Dallas for three years. I'm not the biggest Mavs fan, but I really do enjoy seeing my home team win. It makes everyone happy at the bars and at work. The series against golden state though has been such a let down though. They have the best regular season record and then get spanked in the playoffs like it was their job. It was just a big let down.

This weekend should be fun. We shall see... more to come later today... just wanted to express my sadness for the Mavs.

My Girl Is Back

I'm not sure if everyone knows or not... if not then you need to stop eating fried Donkey dong and start watching the news... but my girlfriend is back on stage and back to rolling in the dough. I ain't talking about play-doh... i'm talking about the rain dough. She is definitely making it rain, and I'm definitely swimming in her rain.

Now that she is back to performing I'll probably be quiting my job soon and joining her on tour. She needs someone like me to keep her spirits up and spike her cokes with rum so she can get wild. I'm really good at doing her make up and making her look like the 25 year old hot whore that she is.

Anyfart, I'll be videotaping a lot of the tour and posting on YouTube for the world to watch. Hopefully it will be picked up by MTV (not the stupid WB like K-Fed did... wtf was he thinking ... umm.. yeah... he's a retard). So wait for it... because it's coming faster than a three dollar hooker can dust a snake.

Note: This picture of her is definitely my favorite. In her head she is thinking... WTF... how did i become famous with such a great song called Hit Me Baby One More Time... the world must be sipping too much syrup.

The point of that was

I'm sure we've all had to talk to those stupid answering services for big companies prior to getting to speak with a real person. Some of them are pretty impressive, and some of them are not.

I called Sprint this morning to transfer my service to a different phone that I own. I called the number on the website that was specific about transferring service to a new phone. I followed the instructions, provided the number on the back of the phone, my social security number, my telephone number, and maybe one other piece of info I don't remember. Then I get transferred to a person. She asks for the same information all over again, so why did they make me enter the information on the phone. This doesn't really make sense to me, shouldn't all my information that i just entered pop up on the CSR's screen?

Maybe I'm just crazy and expect better from a company like Sprint.

Tardiness is Unacceptable

Well, it had to happen. After 15 months of traveling, I've only had one missed flight, and been delayed only one time on my return flight. But today, it was my flight to the great white north that was delayed. Although it may have only been a 30 minute delay and some how i swear we still got to Minneapolis at the exact same time as always, there was a delay.

The flight was supposed to begin boarding at 7:15. At 7:43 a women came up and tried to walk through and get on the plane. The AA employee nicely told the women that the flight had been delayed. She shrugged her shoulders in disappointment. Disappointed i thought... are you you crazy. The flight was supposed to be leaving at 745 am, she would have missed the flight if it had been on time. She should have sighed in relief... not disappointment.

In other news I found out today that my client has been interviewing people to replace me. This is somewhat good news and somewhat bad. I've been at this client for 15 months at the moment. They are extremely nice, and the work load is what i consider light compared to other projects. Although I am ready for a new challenge which I am looking forward to. Hopefully it will be a great project with an awesome potential for experience.

Other then that i ran a little over 3.5 miles tonight which felt great. Last night I did about 3. For some reason I keep forgetting to grab my watch to time my run which is pretty important to me as it gives me some kind of indication of how far I'm running.

Go Mavs.