Last night, I had a dream.

6:00 - Leave work trying to make it home by 7 for the Penguin Store party
7:00 - Make it home. RIght on time.
7:05 - Roomie not ready... so typical.
7:06 - Bored so I start cleaning. Take a look at the basket full of cloths that has had the exact same cloths in it for over a year now. Think about putting the cloths up.
7:15 - Still thinking about putting them up
7:20 - Decide not to put the cloths up and end up starting some laundry
7:25 - Roomie tells me we aren't leaving until 8
7:25:00:01 - Pissed at roomie.
7:30 - Start cooking my new favorite dinner. Boca Burger, Cous Cous, strawberries, and soy milk.
8:00 - Em shows up for Penguin Party
8:20 - Arrive at Penguin Party. There are 5 other people in the store. Three of them work there.
8:21 - I realize there is free Heineken. I begin to indulge.
8:22 - I try on a shirt and some pants. I am done shopping.
8:45 - Beer #2
9:00 - Store closes
9:01 - I realize they have free Kits taffy. I continue eating
9:25 - Phil and Em finish shopping
9:26 - Call Drew. Decision is made to go to Barley House for one beer
9:27 - Snort a line (Joking)
9:40 - Sierra Nevada
9:47 - Bathroom break. Dirtiest bathrooms ever.
9:50 - Beer # 2 at Barley House. I broke the rule.
10:20 - Dos Equis. Beer # 3
11:05 - Time to go home. No wait. This is when the night just got started. Drew recommends the loon. I go ahead and say. Sounds good for a night cap ("one beer")
11:15 - Arrive at Loon. Order a Coors Light. Very nice
11:30 - Think about how I will blog about this tomorrow (tomorrow being today)
11:31 - Phil and Em finally arrive. I'm done with my beer. Guess I'll make it two
11:45 - Em is done with her beer. WE go to the bar for another drink
11:50 - Order the last round. I close out. Bueno
11:51 - Em convinces me that we need a shot. Royal Fuck is what we did. Tab is open again
11:52 - Take Shot. Close out tab. Need to go home and sleep
12:01 - Decide to write a drunk text message/poem to my buddy who believes I should be a drunk poet. The following text message ensues:

"Aw man. Ill weoutr a orm for you.

There was this whore,
Who didn't want Moe,
She thinks she is hot,
Like a yatee tot,
Her name is Molly,
Dickin holla holly"

12:15 - Done with my beer. Said something (still don't remember that pissed off Em)
12:30 - We leave the bar. Thank you
12:45 - Arrive at home. Go to get some water with roomie. Ended up grabbing a Redbridge beer (gluten free of course) that is well over 6 months old. It still tasted fine.
1:00 - Bud light time too. Continue talking to roomie about stuff I shouldn't talk to him about.
1:15 - Begin drunk texting.
1:20 - 5 drunk texts later. I feel it might be a good time to use the breathalyzer. I blow a .30 on the breathalyzer. It is wrong
1:25 - I blow a .2
1:35 - Alone in my room. Still sending drunk texts
1:37 - Pass out
7:20 - Wake up. Shit. I'm late.
7:40 - Time to go to work. Breathalyzer first. I blow a .08. I'm legal to drive... barely.
8:01 - Begin receiving texts from people i drunk texted asking if i was drinking last night
8:03 - Decide this weekend will involve no alcohol (i'll update you on Monday)
8:40 - Stop off at Whataburger for a fabulous Taquito
8:41 - Order Taquito - sausage and egg only
8:47 - The following old man with a sweet hat walks in:
Two words. Big balla.
8:59 - Taquito finally arrives
9:08 -I've never been this late to work. Typically it's not really late, because my boss comes in at 9:45. I think I'm golden because I don't see his car.

9:11 - Of course. His car was hidden. He is here due to a 9:30 meeting. The one day I'm late. Of course he is cool about it, but still.
Now - Head still hurting. Everythings gonna be alright, just like bob marley said.