Minneapolis... what

This past weekend, I took a trip back to my old stomping grounds... Minneapolis. It was an interesting trip to say the least... so here is how it went down.

Friday:
8:00 PM - Wake up on to the plane landing. This used to always freak the hell out of me because I always thought we were crashing. Still the same feeling.
8:10 PM - Board light rail to go to the 38th st station for a party at my old co-workers house
8:35 PM - Arrive at 38th St Station. Call friend to pick me up. Informs me he is busy, so his brother will pick me up
8:40 PM - Infiniti pulls up with Harry Potter driving. He asks if I'm Brian. I ask... are you Harry? Ok, I didn't really ask if he was Harry, but his name is James and he did look like Harry Potter.
8:45 PM - Arrive at party. Two girls are sitting there as I walk in, so I introduce myself.
GIRL # 1 - One of the girls is dressed up as Jordan from the great Gatsby. If I had two nickels when i met her, i might have asked her if I could try to fit them in between her teeth. She works at a liquor store, and apparently likes to drink. We have something in common. Her name is Jordan in my eyes because that is her costume
GIRL #2 - Girl number two is dressed as Rosie... i couldn't tell if she meant Rosie O'Donnell or what, but she looked like a construction worker. This girl is drinking RumRunner, she tells me she plans on drinking the entire bottle. I'm somewhat impressed and believe that she is a lesbian based on a few clues she shows me.
9:00 PM - Girls ask me how old I am. 25. They thought 27. Do i look old these days
9:40 PM - My buddy Joe finally arrives. After 30 minutes of interesting conversations with the punk rocker girls, I am glad to have a breather
9:42 PM - I get my pirate costume on. Brings back memories of the pirate party. I have a fear the rest of the night that my phone will get lost.
9:45 PM - Nickel girl wants jello shots... it's on.
10:30 PM - Rosie seems to be interested in me. I show no interest and begin talking to two new girls. Law school girls. They are my age and cute. Not dressed up at all.
11:00 PM - Law school girls have to go to another party. Bummer.
11:05 PM - Jello shot
11:15 PM - I find myself once again talking to Rosie and Jordan. Not so nice.
11:50 PM - I begin my exit strategy.
12:01 AM - Most people have left. We are watching odd YouTube videos on a Wii
12:05 AM - I change out of pirate costume. In an attempt to escape. I inform people I'm leaving and that I will walk to the train station. Joe insists not to worry and that I will find a ride.
12:45 AM - Still watching YouTube Videos
1:00 AM - Still watching YouTube
1:02 AM - Rosie and Jordan are leaving. I ask for a ride to the train station. They insist they will give me a ride to downtown. I argue... they think I'm mean.... i break down and agree to a ride to my hotel.
1:05 AM - I don't know Minnesota well, but I realize we are not going the right way. Jordan says that Rosie is taking me home. Great. I'll have to ride back with the construction worker by myself. Not looking forward to this
1:30 AM - Drop other girl off. She lives literally 100 feet from the liquor store she works at. A:
1:31 AM - 2:00 AM - Odd car ride with Rosie. Conversation is lame. She doesn't understand why I don't have a girlfriend. I understand completely why she doesn't have a boyfriend, but fail to say it. Get to my hotel. I thank her. Get out of the car. Home free.
2:15 AM - Blind Date is on. I get wrapped up in an episode. I hate TV.

Saturday:
9:00 AM - Wake up and get Executive Hilton Breakfast
9:30 AM - Back to bed
11:00 AM - Wake up. S.S.S.
11:30 AM - Begin shopping at BR and Gap. Purchase pants, two shirts, and three pairs of socks. I shop when I'm alone like that and always find stuff.
1:00 PM - Chipotle for lunch
1:15 PM - Meet up with roomie at Macy's
2:00 PM - Leave roomie. Stop by Haskells and pick up a 6-packs of Red Hook and Sierra Nevada
2:15 PM - Picked up by old co-worker to go to a get together with people i used to work with
2:30 - 6:00 PM - Converse and speak of the good ole days with old co-workers. Watch dogs run around the yard. Drink two red hooks and one Sierra Nevada. Eat one hamburger and two brats. By the end, I am in a food coma.
6:30 PM - Arrive at Gopher Hockey game
9:00 PM - Gophers win.
9:10 PM - Talk to roomie. He is in St. Paul. I decide to make the trek out there and jump on the light rail
9:25 PM - Get off at 46th St Station
9:26 PM - Roomie not there. It's cold. I decide to wait under the heat lamp at the station. Some little person is singing and is really annoying. I block him out and notice there is a Walgreens, cool.
9:35 PM - Roomie arrives. We go to his friends house.
9:40 PM - Beer #1, it tastes so good (NewCastle)
9:45 - Begin playing Apples to Apples. The douche bag next to me is somehow winning. He has a tattoo that says Got Jesus with a Jesus Fish underneath it and they were not apart of his Halloween costume.
10:00 PM - I am told i have to try a beer called Premium, the local beer. Everyone says it is great. I take one sip and almost vomit. It is gross. I still drink it.
11:00 PM - One more beer down, and it is time to walk to the bar
11:15 PM - Get to bar. Jager Bombs for everyone and a 24 oz beer.
12:30 PM - I begin feeling very hot and feel my alcoholic allergic reaction coming on. For once, I listen to it and stop drinking.
12:40 PM - Begin exit strategy planning. Train stops at 2am. No one will be able to take me to my hotel tonight since everyone is drunk. So I can sleep on the floor at roomie's friends, or figure out a way to my hotel.
12:41 PM - Ask bartender to call a cab. He calls two cab services... Both are too busy and will be at least an hour. I fear this is not enough time for me to make it.
1:00 AM - Still trying to figure out how to get to the station
1:15 AM - Say bye to everyone. Tell them a cab is waiting for me outside. They trust me... what fools...jk
1:16 AM - On the way out, i ask the door dude which way the train station is. He tells me far. Someone over hears and tells me it is straight down the street across two bridges. He says its about 1.5 - 2 miles. I can do it. The cute waitress girl at the door tells me I'll never make it and that it is in another city. I ignore her and walk out the door.
1:17 AM - I begin running in my sport coat, jeans, and going out shoes (not comfortable)
1:27 AM - I reach the first bridge. It crosses the Mississippi River. This is a good sign. I get half way across the bridge and look out on the river... I stop. I start thinking. Then realize I need to keep running.
1:29 - Burp. It tastes like jager. Gross.
1:35 AM - I see Walgreen's. I'm going to make it.
1:40 AM - Buy my train ticket. Success.
1:42 AM - Crazy Homeless lady begins talking to me. She wants to swap train tickets with me so she can ride buses all night. She tells me how the government sucks and how they effed her over. She shows me her beat up leg and it might have been the grossest thing ever. She continues talking about stuff and eventually i tell her i'm from dallas and blah blah blah. She asks if she can come live on my front lawn. I'm like... whatever. She then asks for an email address... i give her a fake. She writes hers down in pink highlighter on an old bus ticket she had (she had about 30 of them). (PS - I just noticed that the ticket was issued on September 1, 2007. If this is the case, I feel like she might keep every train pass she has ever "purchased")
I see the train a coming. she tells me to wait while she grabs her stuff. I start walking to the next car. I lose her. Success.
2:15 AM - Arrive in downtown. Get off at Nicolett Mall station. I see the crazy lady and duck out in the ally.
2:30 AM - Arrive at hotel. Turn on tv. Begin watching some stupid show that I can't even remember.
2:32 - Pass out.