This one time...

... when i wasn't drinking (the start of my stories are typically the complete opposite of this) my dad shot my sister with a gun.

Let me rephrase that.

This one time... when i wasn't drinking, my dad accidentally shot my sister with a BB gun. I remember it like it was yesterday... and so does she since she was the one who was shot.

My dad and I were shooting our BBs at cans like we loved to do on any typical Saturday morning. This is what we did in Texas as kids, and generally move up to pellet guns after this, then rifles, then shotguns, and finally AK47s. My sister at the time was on the swing set which was not directly in the line of fire, but definitely about 15 feet away from the cans at about a 30 degree angle.

I remember shooting, then hearing my sister scream. That's about it. Turns out a BB ricocheted off the can and hit her on the pinkie as she was swinging. The real questions is, was it my shot, or my dad's shot. I guess the world will never know.

Lesson to be learned... don't be in the line of fire in any situation.

The last time i was drinking and playing with guns... somone got shot in the butt. Awesome.

Grammar... HA!

To the creator of the following comment (aka anonymous),

"Anonymous said...
Nice grammar, dude. You should proofread your posts before you start calling other people stupid.

8:57 AM"

Clearly you have taken offense to some of my blogs because you are now critiquing my grammar. Hello.... I'm Gekius, do you think i care about grammar. I don't think so. You can look through all 90 something of my posts as of this moment and probably find a 1000 grammatical errors. Congratulations. Want a cookie?

I'm not sure what about this particular entry set you off, but I've done some quick analysis and come up with a few possible reasons why this blog tickled your toes:

1. You work at burger king and make fries like K-Fed will be doing soon. Making fries is not a bad job man, and I'm impressed that with that grammatical knowledge you have, you haven't taken your skills to Jack In The Box

2. Your name is Hulk Hogan. Enough said. You have issues due to the multiple fights with Andre the Giant (R.I.P Andre).

3. You have aspired all your life to be the cup stacking champion of Norman, Oklahoma, it was your dream ever since you were 6. Then at the age of 7 and a half, your finger got stuck up your own butt doing who knows what (probably your sister knows) and twisted extremely bad. The doctors said you would never stack cups like you did before. Boo hoo. Now that you are 10 and learning all the grammatical rules in the 3rd grade, you decided it was time to take some vengeance. I understand your problems. I know a few good child therapists that can probably help you. Just please leave your name and number and I'll help you out. I'm here to serve like Obama.

4. You come from Atlanta, Denver, or Oklahoma.

5. You may not even have a job... Given your amazing grammatical skills though, I find this hard to believe (dude is such a great thing to call me by the way... but i prefer Gekius... or your majesty).

6. You may be retarded. I'm sorry, I know this wasn't PC and it isn't nice to laugh about this stuff but some people think its funny, so get over it.

7. You really do play Magic the Gathering or like Pokemon and still think both are cool. In this case, I'll just let it be. And I hope you find a good troll of a wife someday to marry you.

8. You are the kid in the photo. You win the jackpot, Glamour Shots with out cups in front of you. Congratulations.

9. Anonymous... get a real name or grow some balls.

10. Wait for it... I know... Since in your comment you seem to be offended that I called other people stupid, you must be stupid. Ahh... it was so obvious. Why didn't I see this right from the start.

Anyways, please let me know which of the options above are the reason for your comment, or just tell me the grammatical error and I will fix it. I'm always aiming to please others, so just let me know. Love,

Gekius

In other recent news

Britney has gone a little crazy. We all know by now that she is my x-girlfriend and is my baby's momma. I hope she is able to get through all of the crazy times she is having. She isn't looking so great in below:


And in this picture she has some slight resemblance to the devil... hmm ... interesting:

Cup Stacking... A Sport

Are you f'in kidding me?

I'm not sure if you have heard of this stupid new phenomenon amongst the kids these days... and no I'm not talking about Pokemon, because that was so 10 years ago. And I'm not talking about Magic the Gathering, because everyone knows was the best child game that ever existed and only cool people like me still play it (I have an 11th degree wizard that can crush any card you throw out... so be scared if you ever dare try playing me).

Anyways, cup stacking, it's a speed game (not a sport) where kid's (I hope adults don't waste their time with this nonsense game) stack cups and unstack them in formations as quickly as possible. Sounds like a game for your standard mentally retarded kid if you ask me... but they are letting "normal" kids do this. They have competitions. They have world rankings. They are... stupid.

All i know is if my kid ever asked to go to a competition, the events would unfold like this. I would act gleefully that they have chosen such an awesome sport to pursue their dreams in. Sign them up... pay the fee or whatever needed to be done. On day of competition, give them a nice big breakfast. Then we would start driving. I would drive for so long that they fell asleep and take them to a far away remote place. When i felt like we were in the middle of no where, i would pick the kid up out of the car as they were sleeping... and drop them off with the following note:

"Here is your challenge should you choose to accept. Cup Stacking is stupid, if i ever catch you trying to do it again, i will drop you off much further and this time with no food or water. You will find in your bag one nalgene and two granola bars. Good luck. Hope to see you at home sometime tonight. Be safe and I love you."

I think that would be a successful lesson taught to my child and they would learn not to play stupid games like Cup Stacking.

The only reason cup stacking might be acceptable, is if it were somehow turned into a drinking game for kids. That would be hilarious and i would hope that ESPN would broadcast it, because drunk kids trying to stack cups would be funnier than Hulk Hogan trying to manage his f'd up family.

Please note the kid in the photo will never amount to anything. Yeah he can stack and unstack cups with one hand in 5.3 seconds, but what will he really do with his life... my best guess... Burger King Fry maker.

BTW... if you haven't check out "What Would Tyler Durden Do"... you should. Two words. Hil Arious

Obamination

I was told by Barack Obama earlier this afternoon to tell my friends that he is the man. This is me telling you that he is the man. I'm calling it right now, he will be the next president. Unless Rudy starts doing something right... its no competition... Barack will obaminate the competition.

Note: Image is of Barack at age 14 trippin on some wicked LSD. At least... that's my best guess.

Prosperous

If you are reading this blog entry... you should probably consider yourself to be pretty lucky. For one, you must not be dirt poor because you have access to the Internet. And two, you can read, so you have a skill that 18% of the world does not have. I know I have lived a very fortunate life and have been very lucky. Even during difficult times, you have to always think that there is someone that has it much more difficult. A lot more. So I definitely encourage everyone that is fortunate enough to donate money to charities/runs/walks/biking/ or others that just need help. Most of these things are tax deductible, so it's a good deal in the long run.

Anyways, I found this new website I'm going to plug for a minute called Prosper.com. Sounds like some kind of Internet dating site... but really its a lender/borrower site that brings someone who needs money for some financial reason in contact with several lenders who are willing to provide that money at a cost (interest rate). So basically prosper acts as an intermediary for people who need money and people that want to lend money and make some profit. I signed up for an account and am going to do a trial period to make sure it works (only investing 100 bucks initially). There is always a chance that the borrower will default, in that case, you may lose some of your money. Which is why you must diversify your portfolio and only give small amounts to multiple people... so that if a couple people default, then you have lost all your apples. If you are interested in how this turns out for me... let me know and I will be sure to tell you if it is profitable. After looking through the site, the average return rate is at least 8-10%, which is higher than any savings account and is typically better than the average stock market return (average gain in market is 8%). So hopefully this works out... if so, I might have found a new way to waste my life away... AWESOME!

Who is ready for Friday? I know I sure am... my weekend consists of going out to a few happy hours (where i will not get drunk), maybe a movie or two, some climbing, maybe running if weather permits, and 2 hockey games. All in all, I've been very good about keeping my drinking in check the past month, the only times I've been drunk were in Whistler... which is in Canada, so everything i did there did not count... anyways... hopefully i can continue this streak. We will see.

Also, I just ate 5 cookies. I need to stop doing that. For some reason, when I only want one... I grab five and eat them in less than a minute.

Also... the guy in the picture above... his name is fortunate. Isn't that weird.

She Tasted Like Cigarettes..

Cigarettes... I can still remember the first girl that i kissed that had been smoking sometime around freshman year in college. To my surprise at the time, it actually kind of tasted pretty good. Later that night i realized in my drunken state that she had actually been chewing some kind of Cinnamon gum combined with the taste of cigarettes which synergized and made an amazing flavor. One i have yet to be able to recreate since that night... but it was still great. Someday it will be a flavor of Gatorade or something like that (Cinnamon Cigarette Ice Gatorade... sounds... refreshing?). And I digress.

Anyways, back in the day i used to smoke. Well if you consider that I've probably smoked maybe 10 cigarettes in my life and they have all been in the past ... 6 -8 years probably. So I'm not perfect right, but who is besides a girl named Kathy that I've heard of from a friend.

Since when did smoking become cool... i mean i know it has been for a long time, but why and what made it cool. People say that cigarettes take of pressure and make them feel better, which makes sense i guess... but it also kills you at the same time (please note... i do tons of things that speed up my life, because I'm not perfect, but smoking is a vice that bothers me).

I guess i really just don't think it is fair for people to be allowed to smoke in bars/restaurants/ or any place of business. It isn't right for them to contaminate the air that i breathe and the cloths i wear with the horrific smokey smell.

Alright alright, enough bitching... all I'm saying is that if Austin, New York, LA, Minneapolis, and others can successfully outlaw smoking in all public places, then the rest of the united states should be able to do it (except for in Oklahoma... everyone knows they have problems). Someday this will happen, hopefully i will still be going to bars at this time so that i can enjoy the clean air act that will be passed.

Peace out.

My morning... My weekend... My life

I get my marble loaf and apple juice and proceed to my gate. I sit down 3 seats from a woman who is slightly overweight, brown hair, bangs that aren't exactly even going across the bottom of her fore head, and overall looks like a very nice women.

"Where is the Starbucks at?"

"Just about three to four gates down, not too far."

"Oh, well I'm kind of hungry, so maybe I'll just go get some burger King."

I smile and say "Good idea"... but deep down I hate burger King with a passion. The four years i was at the University of Texas, there was a burger king right next to where i spent most of my college career (by the BC office). I ate there way too much and cannot stand the smell/taste/or thought of burger king to this day. There is even one 2 blocks from where i live, I've never been there and do not plan on ever going there. I think the only way I'd ever go to a burger king is if it were the last place on earth. And I Digress.

"My friends say I'm a social butterfly"

"That's a good quality to have" I say.

Then she asks, "Are you a business man?". I'm assuming she asks this because I'm wearing my sport coat, slacks, and a dress shirt.

"Yes maam I am." I wasn't really sure what to say, since businessman is such a generic term that in some ways, i wouldn't want to be called that.

She then goes on to tell me that she is from Dallas and why she is heading to Rochester NY.

"I have epilepsy. The doctors here in Dallas have told me that I need to go there and that they are running out of ideas. I'm currently on 4500 MG of medication a day to control it." So less than 5 minutes of talking to her, she begins to tell me all about it and how the clinic there is kind of her last resort. I begin to feel very bad for her, but have no idea what to say. If I knew her, I think i would be ok. I guess i was shocked that she would provide this kind of information to a complete stranger minutes within meeting them.

By this time I have finished my marble loaf and apple juice and am trying to figure out if there is some kind of exit strategy. I know it sounds mean, but I just did not feel like talking about this at 530 am... is that wrong of me?

Finally, they start the boarding process. I tell her good luck and hope that everything works out well. I think she might have just been nervous and wanted to talk. For me though... 530 am is not the best time to talk to me... unless I've been up all night and am doped up on cocaine and hypnotic.


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This past weekend I cleaned my room. It is now cleaner than it ever has been before since i moved in 10 months ago. It was a great weekend. This is me breathing.

Stupid Question

I work in an office.

I work on a floor with one men's restroom.

There are no kids in the building where I work.

SO why do they have one urinal at man level... and one urinal at kid's level....

think about it.

Who am i?

Am I George or Jerry? I've had this debate with myself for quite sometime which is very odd to the average person I'm sure. Of course who would want to be George... he's always a mental wreck and stressed out beyond all possible means, while Jerry is always calm, happy, and enjoying his life.

The Analysis:

Comparison to George:
1. George is bald.... I am not (well not yet, i was recently told that i will be someday most likely)
2. George carries an overly obese wallet.... while I carry a slim wallet and keep only the essential stuff in it.
3. George freaks out constantly about girls... I... well.. I... ok yes i freak out about girls
4. George likes his Kung Pao Chicken spicy... I on the other hand dislike spicy food.
5. George has dated super models... the closest I got to a super model was when i stalked Naomi Campbell for three weeks and created a hair doll out of the hair that fell out of her head. These days i'm not allowed to be within 500 meters of her, but it was well worth it.
6. George experiences shrinkage... I'm a guy, don't we all experience this.
7. George killed his fiance... while i haven't had a fiancee, i did once drive a girl to see a therapist
8. George is cheap... I am cheap
9. George yells a lot and stresses out... I can't remember the last time I yelled, but i do stress out a lot
10. George likes cuban cigars... I love cuban cigars.

Comparison to Jerry:
1. Jerry is a jew... I am not a jew.
2. Jerry is good with the ladies... typically i'm not so good with the ladies
3. Jerry is funny... while i like to think I am funny
4. Jerry is not a threesome kind of guy... i am not a threesome kind of guy
5. Jerry once date his twin... I have never dated my twin
6. Jerry was the "fastest" runner in high school because he cheated... I used to win at poker because I cheated.
7. Jerry once stole a marble rye from an old woman... while I once stole a tootsie roll from Randall's when I was 6 years old.
8. Jerry agrees that a salad counts as a dinner... while i too agree that salad = dinner
9. Jerry always had a thing for asian women... i've been told i have a thing for asian women
10. Jerry once dated a gymnast... I once dated a gymnast

All in all... it is clear to see who i resemble more. The obvious answer is Elaine Bennis.

I'm back

Yes... that's right, I survived the trecherous Whistler mountain in a very fun and eventful ski trip with 8 other guys. That's right... making for a total of 9.

Skiing in Whistler has to have been the best I've ever been able to experience, probably because i was actually challenged a lot since the guys i skiied with were a lot better than me. Only one near death experience when i almost hit a tree, but somehow, i missed it after losing control when skiing through the trees (not my most favorite thing, thats for sure).

As far as future trips go... I'm not really sure. I imagin sometime in the next month i'll make a climbing expedition trip to Oklahoma of all places and maybe a few trips to Austin... other than that who knows.

FYI... did you know that there are some periods during the month that the Moon is not visible. This stage is called New Moon and is the first stage of the lunar cycle. In this phase the Moon's unilluminated side is facing the Earth, causing the moon to not be visible (except during a solar eclipse.

A full lunar cycle lasts on average 29.5 days. Everyonce in a while a full moon will occure twice in one month, this is called a Blue Moon and takes place every 2.7 years on average. The next Blue moon will be taking place in June, so be prepared when it comes.

The above information about the moon is my Valentine's Day present to all :). Enjoy and have a good Valentine's Day.

What is up from Vancouver?

So i left for Whistler today/yesterday i guess (it's 216 am dallas time). So far, the trip has been interesting.

My flight to Houston was quick. I slept the entire way. Woke up and had to run across the airport to make it to my next flight. That was not fun.

One thing I'm not sure if i told most people about my trip, is that this coming weekend... is Gay Pride weekend (or something like that) in Whistler. So of course... there were Gays on a Plane (not snakes, not sure which is worse...jk).

It was quite funny, there were all your sterotypical gay guys right in front of me. The "flamboyant pudgy looks like he is/was in the army gay man" was definitley putting on show. The "black shaved head extremely well dressed gay man" who was very drunk and stumbling when he got off the plane. And finally the "my cloths used to belong to an 11 year old girl and i bleach my hair to look cool gay man".

There was also an old man next to me... with a cowboy had, down puffy vest, yellow shirt, bald head, and i'm not sure how much english he spoke. But the small amount that i did hear was that he was upset that the lady on the other side of the aisle had brought water on the plane. For some reason, he didn't think it was allowed... uhh.. hello... that was so last year. Get with the times...jk.

One advantage to having an ipod... people don't talk to you on a plane even though the music is playing inside my head, but they don't know that.... fools.

Hopefully no one is offended by the above comments... if so, get over it..jk.

The trip concluded with the flight attendants passing out the cards that you have to fill out when you come in to canada stating where you are going etc. Of course... I don't have a pen. I notice the guy next to me does and he is using it... so i figure i'll wait for it. Then i notice he is coughing like crazy into the pen... damn it. I really need a pen, and there is nothing else around. I end up using it. ANd so does everyone else in my row. That pen is like the village bike... everyone got a ride. Anyways, i'm immune to getting sick... right ERG?

ALright.. well i guess i should pass out in my awesome hotel bed (Hilton Vancouver Airport... it's a decent place). Have a good weekend everyone. We'll miss you Sidney. Peace.

Swoosh! Boing! Bop!

So i went to a Mavs game last night with this really awesome girl (ERG). They won of course and basically blew the other team out of the water. They made the other team look like a middle school B team by scoring 40 points just in the first quarter. The game was great, but it seems to me that these days it's almost like a theatrical performance.

The basketball is microphoned. Which seemed very odd to me, I guess it is to give the feeling that you are close to the court and can hear/feel/see everything that is happening, even though i was about 100 feet away. The first few times it scared me, then it almost became normal that i could hear the ball hit the rim even over the sound of the crowd cheering. During time outs and intermissions, a variety of shows are put on that definitely make things more interesting and fun.

After the game had a glass of wine at Vino 100 which was very good. My goal this month is to hit up every wine bar at least once. At the rate I'm going, 3 wine bars in 2 weeks, it should not be a problem :). They are much better than normal bars, mostly because i don't come down with a mild case of emphasema before leaving, and they are generaly more relaxed which is what i like to be.

Tonight I leave for my Whistler Ski Trip. Myself and 9 other guys (only 3 of which i know) will be sharing a 10 person condo. Should be an interesting trip. I'm going to do what i can to pace myself at drinking so that i can actually enjoy the skiing part of the trip. I'm only planning on actualy skiing two days... and on the third doing some other kind of activity (maybe snow shoeing or something that i've never tried). My plan is to do some grocery shopping once i get there tomorrow and live pretty cheapily off cheap mealsfood (diet consisting of granola bars, soup, and pasta...).

So I most likely won't be posting again until Wednesday. Don't miss me too much.

jpb

This week I have eaten four jelly n peanut butter sandwiches in three days. Sometimes I wonder if they are bad for me. I ate one every day almost as a kid and for some reason this week I felt like being a kid again by bringing my jelly n peanut butter sandwich with me to work. What i forget is that I'm at least twice the size of what i was when I was 10. Therefore, I need twice the amount of food. However, i continue to only bring one sandwich and then getting hungry by around mid afternoon.

Solution to this problem... pack two sandwiches.

One interesting thing i used to do with my jelly and peanut butter sandwiches was to add sprinkles onto the peanut butter. This would give the sandwich and extra kick of crunch along with some sugar to get me going.

Who remembers the Peanut Butter Jelly Time song... i know i sure do. In case you were stuck in a black hole when this came out... check this out.

Anti Denti

Typically... I'm very what you call... Anti Denti, but after this morning, some might say I am pro-denti.

Morning started out extremely early like most Tuesday's... 6 am wake up. A lot of times on Tuesday this would be considered late and at this time I would already be on a plane up to Minnesota. But today, I get to stay in Dallas. My Dentist appointment was for 7 am, and I'm not too sure why I set it up for this time, I guess because I like to get it out of the way.

Anyways, all in all, I typically do not like going to the dentist. Maybe it's the scratching and grinding of the teeth or the taste of that strange stuff they put on your teeth to "polish" them. Possibly the taste of the rubber gloves in my mouth, definitely not my favorite. Not really sure what it is, but I like others, dread going to the dentist.

The lady that cleaned my teeth this morning was very nice and asked me a lot about what was going on in my life. Which i had no problem telling her, but the best part about her was right after i opened my mouth, she said my teeth already look great. My guilty conscious comes into the dentist waiting for them to tell me that i have cavities. After hearing what she said, i was pretty confident the rest of the visit would go well. She did make some recommendations for me to brush in certain places more than others, which i really appreciate because i never know if I'm doing something wrong.

Today will be a long day and so will tomorrow. Work the rest of the day, dinner in Southern Oklahoma, last load of laundry before Whistler, Hockey at 1030... then sleep.

Tomorrow... work... then the mavs game with ERG. It will be good times.

I'm out.

cheese... what cheese

I think i posted about 5 minutes ago... my cheese is all gone. :(

Oh well.

Cheese

It's noon... I have 5 pieces of cheese left for the day to last until 5 PM. If i ration reasonably, once piece of cheese per hour... then I win.

it goes like this... not that

"Grande Gingerbread Non Fat No whip 140 Degree Latte"... coming from a true Starbucks Professional.

This past weekend went really well if I have to say so myself. I was able to get a lot done and had a some really fun times. So here is the weekend wrap up...

Friday night started out with me going climbing right after work. I haven't been in about 2 weeks and it felt nice to actually get back out and do a few 5.9s. Today I will go again after work. After climbing, went out to celebrate Ben's birthday. Started at the loon, had a few drinks with some of the hockey guys, then proceeded to Quarter Bar. I probably drank more than I should have, but all in all I kept everything in control.

Saturday... woke up around 9ish and did my taxes (I know, I'm a dork... i like to get them done early). It was a great feeling of accomplishment (only had to call my dad about 6 times and send him about 6 emails for help... no biggie though). After that made a quick trip to REI to get some gloves for my whistler trip next weekend, and then remembered that my friend was in town for a judo tournament. Drove halfway to West Texas (Hurst) and hung out with my JFF (judo fighting friend). What an interesting sport to watch, it's kind of cool to see people get thrown and slammed down on to a mat. Supposedly they know how to fall and so it does not hurt, but it doesn't look to pleasant if you ask me. After the tournament, drove home quickly... changed into running cloths. Ran 1.5 miles to the Gingerman. Had a beer with big D and then ran the 1.5 miles back (training for white rock 07). Took a shower and got ready for the night life. Saturday night was great. Went to Cafe Izmar with this really cool girl (Elbow Room Girl :) ). Afterwards went back to her place and I let her cat lick my head. For some reason the cat liked it. It was funny.

Sunday morning woke up around 9ish... went to breakfast with ERG and then to church again (That's right... two times in two weeks... beat it). It was an interesting service, learned all about what happiness is and how we are not supposed to always be happy. That's just how life is. Sunday afternoon, went for another nice 30 minute run in the awesome Dallas weather that we had this weekend (cold at night and amazing during the day). Then hung out with ERG and watched the super duper bowl... with not so super commercials. Tried a new beer (Red Bridge) and some awesome carrot cake. Both were gluten free and tasted amazingly well.

All in all it was a great weekend. I came to the realization that I do not need an ipod... i can just play the music inside my head.

My Starbucks order... "Tall White Mocha"... much easier to say.

Hello Spring!

In case you missed the news, Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow this morning which is great news. The last time Phil did not see his shadow was 1999, so it's only been 8 years. So we are definitely due for an early spring.

This makes me happy because for some reason my office is kept at Minnesota temperatures. I'm not sure if they have the AC or we just don't have heat in Texas because it just never gets that cold. I'm ready for some warmer weather though... but not 100 degree weather... just some 60 -80 degree weather. So that i can be outside and be comfortable.

Have a good weekend... because you know I will.

Home

I am ready to go home. How about you?

Today is Friday #1 for me... i say this because in a way it feels like Friday since this is my last day in Minnesota. It's kind of cool getting two friday's in one week, not many people get that kind of experience. Most people would kill for this kind of feeling... jealous?

That is all. this is me breathing

Taste

Tastes change in many ways.

I can prove this by simply stating the fact that my taste for food has changed drastically in the past several years. I can remember a time when mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, peppers, peas, fresh green beans (i really love canned ones, especially my mom's because she uses bacon to flavor them), and others (oddly enough... all vegetables). Somehow I believe I must be making out of what a friend of mine refers to as my yummy stage.

My taste for beer changed shortly after I forced it down several times. As time went on, it began to taste better. These days, I feel lost and helpless after a hockey game if I don't have a beer, just the taste when it hits your lips is the best.

My taste for vodka/whiskey/liquor in general is yet to change and i really doubt that it ever will. Although i do continue to remind myself that anything... yes anything, is possible.

Taste in women has changed a lot over my lifetime too. I've gone from bitchy, hottie, pretty, smartie, funny, and boringy to others. These days I have specific preferences (prerequisites) that must be met or else you get the boot.

Taste in music has progressed in a multitude of ways. As a kid, I never understood music for some reason so never listened to it. Slowly i fell in to the rap era... then the classical (I used to love the Jurassic Park soundtrack for some reason), then alternative, then punk, then Texas country, and now I'm pretty much open to everything. I believe that having a taste of tons of different music has given me the appreciation for anything that just happens to sound good to me at the moment.

Taste in sports has shifted through out the years of my life from t-ball to soccer to hockey to running to climbing to who knows what next.

Changing tastes can have ups (now i don't have to pick peppers or onions out of my fajitas) and downs (I'll eat just about anything these days). But that is just how life goes... So taste the rainbow.


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random note: I have become desensitized to flying. I remember before last year, i was always excited to get on plane. Mostly because you get on in one city, and magically appear in the other. Yesterday morning as my plane landed, everyone in the window seats had their heads glued to the window as if something cool was happening out there. I guess that's what happens when you fly so much, it just becomes part of your life.

It's all good

Random Note: I have 4 books currently in my laptop case. I have started all four books in my case, but have not finished any of them. What is wrong with me? Also i had Vanilla Late number 2 this morning. It woke me up for the flight... then made me pass out the second half.

----------------

My name should be Steven… because for some reason, everything seams to even out. Today was the perfect example.

Example 1 – While going through the Airport Security this morning I got stopped for a bag search. I have never had them stop me and I always carry the exact same items, nothing changes. No big deal though, they are just doing their job. So they search my bag and find that the culprit was my gyroscopic wrist work out ball. Must have resembled the shape of a hand grenade which is why they stopped me. This slight inconvenience was balanced out on the airplane where I had no one next to me at all… allowing me to stretch out and be comfortable. Things evened out.

Example 2 – After getting off the plane and going to buy my train ticket, I somehow get there just as the two most clueless women ever are attempting to buy tickets. One of the women says to the other… and I quote..

“Do I push the ‘Push to start’ button first?”

The process of purchasing a ticket should at most take 20 seconds… it’s already been a minute and they are not paying attention to the 3 step instructions

1. Push start
2. Pay money
3. Take ticket

Anyways, at this point it is getting close to 10:33 which is when the train comes. I start to hear it. Damn! I don’t want to miss it. Finally one woman finishes and I start my process. BAM! BOP! BANG! (Just like in the old batman movies) and I’m done. Rush down the stairs… just as the train stops and I make it on. Things evened out.

Example 3 – It’s freezing cold in Minneapolis right, currently 7 degrees. I have no gloves. I have no hat. That’s right I’m crazy. I have to walk across 5 streets to make it to my work. My hands began to hurt at block 3, I can do it. But luckily, I hit every light and make every walk sign perfectly. Things evened out.

And the day is only half over… there so much more in my life to even out. But I’m not worried, because things always work out, no matter what happens.

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Random Note: There was a drunk Cuban guy at the wine bar i went to last night. I hope he made it home alright. Also, drunk goat cheese goes very well with red wine, if you've never tried it... buy some tonight.

140 Degree Coffee

Today's blog is long and boring... but then again, I don't care.

Fatty Vanilla Cafe Latte... i tried you for the first time yesterday. You tasted very smooth and kept me warm in the below freezing weather in Dallas. The caffeine kick you provided also helped with my alertness and made me have to pee half way through church. Thank you very much for your help and i expect that kind of help every time i drink you.

This was probably only my 3rd or 4th time in my life to actually drink coffee (first time ever was when i was 19 at a McDonald's in Paris). Unfortunatly, the stuff was very good... hopefully my addictive personality will not cause me to become addicted.

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This past weekend went very well. Friday night i had a work happy hour/planning event where we worked to plan out the entire year's events. Got stood up later that night... but then again, it wasn't intentional, so no worries :).

Saturday I was hooked to my favorite channel... MTV and wasted a lot of my day watching that. Went for a pathetic run where i continued to realize that in order to be in shape, you have to run more. Saturday night went to a new place called Times Ten with a new cool friend which was shorter period of time than i wanted, but the time was fun. If you've never been to Times Ten, think of it as a wine bar in a rich person's living room, pretty nice and comfy if you ask me. Later that night, I progressed to O bar and limited my drinking very well.

Sunday morning consisted of a fabulous breakfast at Cafe Brazil followed by Church. Yes I went to Church and it was probably the first time in at least 7 years that I've been. Wow has church changed. The beginning was like a rock concert and the people that played were really good. I was impressed and actually felt like i could get into the music as opposed to when i was a kid and we sang hymns that sounded like enya or something. Ed was a very interesting and insightful speaker, i guess it's just interesting to hear what he has to say. We'll have to see if i continue this streak of going, a new series starts next week, and it is supposed to be good if you can catch them all.


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Just got a call from that recruiter guy who sent me the email last week. Talked for a little bit about what I've done and where i want to go (I'm not 100% sure of this... but then again, who really is). Informed him that I'm very happy where I am and am not looking for anything really at the moment.

I'm sure that if i did pursue this, i could "cash in" my consulting experience value. But i had this conversation once a while back with our Managing Director about how basically you can leave a consulting place at just about any time in your career and probably make 10 -25% more. He called this cashing in your experience. Which i completely agree. But if i were to leave, i really feel that my learning would be capped and my career path would be flawed. Does that make me crazy? I guess that in my eyes I had planned to stay where I'm at now for at least 5 years prior to leaving. Money can't be everything in life, because in the short term, yes, I could probably make a lot more than i make now. But in the long term, would i be able to have the same opportunities that i have now and the great fun smart people i work with now. I don't think so. So I'm going to have to tell the guy no, which has never been something I'm good at, but then again, it's good practice for me.

You tired yet... because i am?

I think I'll make a Starbucks run shortly and pick myself up a cafe latte. sounds almost peachy. I'm pretty sure my latte wasn't 140 degrees, but supposedly that is when coffee is at it's best according to an expert in the field.

pick up the phone and...

So today i received this email:

Hello Brian,

I received your contact info from a former peer of yours who recommended you when I mentioned I am looking for a highly capable Business Analyst. Do you have a moment to talk about an opportunity?

Please give me a call when it is convenient for you.

Thank you,

NAME CONFIDENTIAL
Account Executive
Parkwood Intl.
3550 Parkwood Blvd. Suite 500
Frisco, TX 75034

First thoughts... has to be a scam. I get crap like this all the time and it never amounts to anything. I read through it again and realize it's probably real, but not a job I would prefer. I check out the website... and it seems like they are some kind of consulting/contracting company. In some ways I wonder how this person found me (couldn't have been my blog because that does not show off my "Highly Capable Business Analyst" skills). They say a peer referred me, is it wrong if i ask who. Because to me that would greatly impact the level of seriousness i take this email.

It is flattering yes... but i already know i'm not interested. I love my job now and i love where i work, i don't see myself going anywhere anytime soon. So do i call just to be nice and tell this person thanks... but no thanks. And i digress.


This morning i had this conversation with my mom:

mom: TGIF (note: next to that she put an Angel icon that flew around like pheasant during hunting season)
bellison03: i know that's right
mom: Big weekend plans?
bellison03: OH you know, the usual. Having a good time and enjoying the weekend.
mom: Just wanted to tell you that i love you and have a good weekend.
bellison03: Thanks mom. Love you too

My mom and i have a similar conversation to the one above almost every day (except they don't always start with TGIF). I like having this. I feel lost without it. It all kind of started when they moved to England several years back and she felt very detached from myself and my sisters. So i introduced her to AIM. She caught on quick and was on all the time. We've had the above conversation probably almost everyday and still do... every once in a while a few other things are brought up and discussed, but something about this makes me feel happy. Moms are the best.

Is it friday yet?

My favorite toy as a kid was more than likely transformers because there was so much more than meets the eye. Who would have thought that all these year later they would make another movie about it (except this time it's not a cartoon). The movie comes out on July 4, 2007, and from the trailer, I did not see all that much transforming which kind of disappointed me. I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of Optimus Prime (my favorite transformer), but not much else.

It looked very much like another Independence Day type of movie which also disappoints me... because it's been done. Hollywood needs to make a movie about an asteroid coming to hit the earth and the president of the US (hopefully not G-dub in the movie) has to make critical decisions to save the world by finding a lucky soldier to fly in to outer space and destroy the asteroid before hitting Earth. Now that would make a great movie (i came up with this idea 20 years ago while playing house with my sister).

Or maybe a movie about my life story... oh wait, it's already been done i forgot. It was called Boogie Nights (Based on the true life of me).

I have tons of ideas for movies... just no Hollywood support... someday it will happen.

Friday is tomorrow... can you tell that I'm ready for a weekend.

20070170000285

pathetic

So I'm really hungry before lunch today and decide i'm going to walk across the street and get a sandwich. Walk outside of the building and i saw a TACO WAGON and seriously thought about going to eat at it and started walking in that direction. Then as I walk up to it... I notice it really said Tag Wagon (Toll Tag selling bus).

I don't know which is worse, the fact that I was going to eat at a "Taco Wagon" or that I can't see large print 20 feet away from me. I should really wear my glasses.

Television Watching

I do have to say, television is not something i tend to watch a lot of these days, although i do get sucked in a few times a year on certain shows, but there will always be one that is near my heart... Seinfeld.

I'm not sure if it's just because i feel almost as if every real life experience can relate to a Seinfeld episode in some way, or maybe its the fact that my dad loved and made me watched it (We only had one TV as a kid and no cable). Or it could be that it is so well thought out and the episodes really come together to create a great show. I know several people probably disagree, well... you're wrong and I'm right... so get over it.

I just got Season 7 in the mail via Amazon (love the online shopping experience) and watched a few episodes last night prior to my hockey game (which we kicked ass in: 8-0). I love to laugh, so that probably helps, but i felt like i was laughing all the way through the first two episodes. It's just a gekius kind of show i guess.

As far as other shows go, not too many compare. I've seen a few episodes of the office, which i found very funny, but never got hooked. I do get caught up in Grey's, but that's probably more due to the fact that every Thursday my place turns into a Grey's watching party (which i don't mind). 24 was a big deal for me last year, but i fell out of the loop and now don't know who most of the people are (except Jack Bauer, because he is just one hell of a bad ass). Somehow i watched about 5 episodes of Desperate Housewives in a row... it was rather funny, but then i got bored with it. MTV has some good ones that I'm embarrassed to watch and am pretty sure that you'd laugh if i told you i love to watch them (Next, Sweet 16, Real World, Parental Control, and others that i can't think of but I'm sure i waste time sometimes laughing at the stupidity of the content in the show and how i must be getting stupider as i watch). I'm sure there are others... but you get the point.

Overall, they say the average person watches 4.5 hours a day. I'm not sure how that is possible, but I would imagine that on an average week... I probably watch about 10 hours of television. So if I live for 80 years (i have high hopes), and i probably started watching television when I was 5... = 75 years *10 hours a week *52 weeks in a year = 37,440 hours = 1,560 days = 4.25 years. Meaning I will spend probably 4.25 years of my life watching television coming out to 5% of my life spent doing that. Does that seem like a waste to anyone else... or am i just crazy?

Imagine if we had to live life without television like back in the day, society was probably a lot more productive back then. Guess that's just the way it is.

This is me exhaling.

It's Tuesday... bad day to all

NOTE: This post may be confusing, ask me if you have questions.

Where to end oh where to end.

So today... i'm going commando. That's right I said i love it (refer to past entry), but i won a bet. I made a bet yesterday with someone that i would not have anything to drink last night. I had nothing to drink... so i won. HA. Beat that. Boo ya ka shah!

The one down part of the night had to have been meeting one girl in particular. She was boring, dumb as a fleece, younger than me (at least that is the impression i got when she called someone else close to my age an old man), not cute, and just i don't know. It was just all bad. I mean seriously, she writes in a blog which is an action i find completly stupid and a waste of time (confused... me too). I guess that is the way things go sometimes though especially when it's a monday night in a bar.

This is me breathing. Side note... Tuesday is the goodest (it's a new word... look it up on google/urban dictionary) day of the week because it is opposite day.

I'm The King of Beer Pong

Beer pong... an old ancient Chinese traditional style game generally played by drunken people who try to increase there athletic ability with alcohol consumption. This is my definition of Beer Pong.

On Saturday night, the night started with some mild drinking since I was still strongly recovering from the night before. A house party with lots of older rich nice people. Eventually, we proceed to a bar. Jam the night away until 2 am. And then the famous words... "let's play beerpong". Holla back.

So we head over to the West Village, in some crazy empty town home that belongs to some Army guy. He is very nice considering we just barged into his place and started drinking his beer and setting things up. After the first round, the team i was supporting lost, so i jumped in and led them to victory. Some people just aren't any good at throwing the ping pong ball at all. Especially the drunk girl who vomited off the balcony and then passed out and couldn't even stand up on our team. She was basically leaning on me much of the night as i continued to push her up each time she started to fall. Eventually she left, and we won with out her. Soon we ran out of beer... so we used wine for beer pong (VERY STUPID). Chugging wine is not the best thing... but it worked. All in all, i stumbled into my house around 630 am... and the night was done. Hello Sunday!

This is me breathing.

License and registration... chicken fucker.

On Sunday as I drove back from the fantabulous Austin, TX, I couldn’t help but go a little fast. Suddenly, I noticed I was approaching a cop. I slowed down to 70 on the cruise control (5 over the speed limit) and continued on my way. Next thing I know, I’m passing the cop. My gekius self decides it’s not a bad idea to pass a cop only going 5 over. So I pass him successfully and continue driving at 70 mph not thinking much of it. About 5 minutes later I notice Mr. State Trooper is behind me with his lights on. WTF… there must be an emergency up ahead. So I move to the right, and I notice he moves to the right. What a retard… I’m moving out of your way I thought. Then… it hit me. He wants to pull me over, must be some simple mistake like he thinks my inspection sticker is expired. For about a split second, I thought about flooring it and running, then I realized my supped up Toyota Camry would probably leave him in the dust and make him feel bad, so I pulled over.

I begin to assume the position, turn the car off, roll down the window, and put my hands on the steering wheel. This in case you don’t know is the position of a not guilty person. He comes up and asks if I know how fast I was going… typical retarded cop question. I say, “Yes sir, had the cruise control set on 70”. He replies back with a firm “I paced you at 80”. It was at that moment, that I thought, you paced? PACED? You have a f’in radar gun for a reason, use it to confirm your pacing suspicions. His stupidity reminded me of a drunken sorority girl I met at a toga party once that thought the square root of 9 was 81…

I look at him and say, “It doesn’t really make sense that I would pass you going 80 when I saw you, I mean that is just ridiculous, I’m certain I was going 70”. He replies back, “yeah I thought the same thing, guess you were wrong.”

"Come on meow” I reply back, thankfully he didn’t notice my rude and offensive reference the great movie Super Troopers. “I’ll be back with your citation”.

You have to be kidding me, this guy is wrong clearly in my mind and I am right. I wouldn’t have been that pissed, except for the fact that this was my second ticket in less than three weeks. Needless to say, I’m going to do all I can to get this thrown out or deferred or whatever. For once, I’m actually pissed at the Nation of Texas. Remember the Alamo!!

This is me breathing.

Dirty Dirty

I know when I used to think of snow, i would always remember the beautiful ski trails and marvelous mountains covered in the beautiful white snow. Clearly snow was not made to make the big city look pretty because it is not. The sides of the road of downtown Minneapolis are covered in piles of grayish-blackish dirty dirty snow that is not pretty at all. And in the crosswalks and through out the sidewalks it turns into a frozen muddish substance i will refer to as snot. It is not pretty and definitely not good for dress shoes. This makes me glad to live in Texas where we don't have to see snot at all. I've never seen it in Texas for the past 24.75 years.

Whistler in 3 weeks... get ready.

This is me breathing.

I'm a nice guy...

Right. Tonight as I was walking down 2nd street in front of my favorite building in Minnesota (the back of the Local bar is covered in Music notes on the back and I think it's awesome and it reminds me of my mom since she loves music), a homeless man asked why i looked so down and sad. I told him I wasn't sad and it was at that moment our relatioinship began. From that moment on, I was Jim Carrey to him and he thought I was pretty funny. We talked a little bit standing there in the 15 degree weather (probably 5 with wind chill) and he finally began to aks for some money so that he could get some fried chicken. I told him, no money, but I'll take you to chipotle. After come coercing, i was able to persuade him that Carnitas Tacos would be great. he finally gave in.

We walked over there. Ordered our food and sat down. He was a very messy eater I guess and i felt bad for how fast he was eating. He told me it was his first meal today and that it had been a pretty bad day. I later learned he was a Hurricane Wilma victim and has a wife and two kids. He hasn't seen his kids in a while or his wife and things didn't seem to be going great with them. He spoke very much of how he misses them. Then he continued to talk of how sad he is and how he feels like he is stuck. I tried giving him encouragment and telling him to keep trying and working hard and that things will work out (I'm not sure how true that really is)... but i figure positive enforcement is the best.

So all in all... no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always someone that has things worse. It's sad to say, but it's true. I hope things work out for the best for him.

This is me breathing.

So... Cold...

Today... I live at the airport. This morning, I woke up at 4:40 AM for my 6:00 AM flight, only to soon realize that it was really 6:50 AM and that i never actually turned the alarm on, i just left it in the Set Mode. So I ended up missing my flight, having to pay 100 bucks to take the 5:30 PM flight tonight, and I don't feel like driving so I figure I will just work from the airport. The worse feeling was probably this morning as i walked down my icy stairs and busted my butt on them. Didn't feel to great. As I walked down the stairs, I prayed that my car was there, and that I did not drive it. It was there... and i got word this morning that I did not drive it. Thank you lord.

All this... I blame on one thing. Yup, that's right. I'm retarded.

The worse part is... it's freezing cold in the airport. I'm beginning to think that they are actually running the A/C even though it's 26 degrees outside. It's at this time that i wish i owned a parka or some other extremely warm piece of clothing other than my north face fleece that is failing to keep me warm.

Last night is kind of a blur, supposedly the last thing that happened to me was i fell down outside the bathroom. I'm pretty sure I made a fool of myself, but that's what i get for drinking my arch enemy... Jack N Coke. It beat me up for sure last night, and it didn't help that i drank them at the bar in Dallas that is known for having the strongest drinks. Oh well. We all make mistakes right.

Change is definitely needed. "I lack the courage for even the simplest of deeds".

This is me breathing.

Boxers, Briefs, or Commando!

Guys fortunately have a few options to choose when it comes to under garments. I remember as a kid I wore whitey tightys... but eventually for some strange reason made the transition. And when i look back on it, I have no idea why, but it must have been one of the best decisions of my life in terms of comfortability.

I know a small percentage of people that go commando. I did it once or twice (only because my boxers got messed up or lost), but it was very uncomfortable. The rubbage of jean material on teh sensitive parts of the body is not nice at all and can be very irritating and painful.

Anyway, commando doesn't make sense, and whitey tightys are for boys... boxers are the way to go.

My Favorite Physical Force

The Centripetal force is not one that I 100% understand, but i do think it is one of the more useful ones in the world to somewhat understand.

Physics was by far my favorite subject in High School, although, I didn't really excel in it, I still found everything we learned to be very interesting. It helped understand the motion of things and how the world really operates.

So what does F(Centripetal) equal to... well its m * ( V^2/r). What does it mean, well.. any motion in a curved path represents accelerated motion and requires a force toward the center of the curvature. This is the center seeking force.

How can you apply it to everyday life... in your car, when driving on a curved road, before going into the turn, all your velocity is going straight. The mistake most people make is they break, and the velocity/motion of the car continues to go straight. The key thing to do in a turn is accelerate, so that the acceleration of your car is pointed in the new direction. This is the key to driving and mostly race car driving that most people don't understand. And I digress.

No Post Today

Wait for it....

Are they really Cubes?

The cube world is an interesting place. Technically I work inside of a rectangular prism without a top, but that would just be really strange if we called them that. Cube is short fast and easy to say.

Anyways, I'm not sure if all places are like where I am at now, but I've noticed that everyone has there own little world almost inside of their cube. Some people decorate it like it's there home, others talk on the phone in there outside voice and seem to want everyone to know what is going on in their personal life (and no janey, i don't care how much apple sauce your son threw up yesterday and i doubt the person on the phone you are talking to really cares, unless you are talking to god, because he cares about everything).

The one really strange thing about our internal cube worlds, is that when people sneeze, even in the cube next to us, no one says God Bless You or kazoontite. Which is odd to me, because we all hear it, but no one says anything even though it is the appropriate thing to do. Maybe I'm just crazy and a God bless you Nazi, but just my thoughts. And i Digress.

Day 3 of 2007. Keep on rocking in the free world.

Welcome to 2007

It's going to be a good year, I can already tell in so many ways. The following reasons are how I can already tell:

1. On my first flight of the year (this morning), we were delayed 20 minutes because they had to de-ice the plane (that's right, in Texas they have to do it sometimes, but my first time in Texas), I got to sit next to a rather large man who i definitely rubbed shoulders with the entire flight, and to top it off there was a man snoring rather loudly on the flight that really made me laugh since he was louder than a train being powered by horse manure. It was hot and romantic.
2. I went out yesterday, played waterfall with some friends and was already drunk again by 6 pm on the first day of the year.
3. I'm in Minnesota right now, and its only 36 degrees. Tonight I will try and run and hopefully not fall on the icy sidewalks or from hypothermia. I can do it.

As a result of these 3 negative ways to start, I believe i should counter them by purchase season 7 of Seinfeld on DVD. I watched all of season 6 this past weekend and can't remember laughing so much. And I digress.