Is it friday yet?

My favorite toy as a kid was more than likely transformers because there was so much more than meets the eye. Who would have thought that all these year later they would make another movie about it (except this time it's not a cartoon). The movie comes out on July 4, 2007, and from the trailer, I did not see all that much transforming which kind of disappointed me. I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of Optimus Prime (my favorite transformer), but not much else.

It looked very much like another Independence Day type of movie which also disappoints me... because it's been done. Hollywood needs to make a movie about an asteroid coming to hit the earth and the president of the US (hopefully not G-dub in the movie) has to make critical decisions to save the world by finding a lucky soldier to fly in to outer space and destroy the asteroid before hitting Earth. Now that would make a great movie (i came up with this idea 20 years ago while playing house with my sister).

Or maybe a movie about my life story... oh wait, it's already been done i forgot. It was called Boogie Nights (Based on the true life of me).

I have tons of ideas for movies... just no Hollywood support... someday it will happen.

Friday is tomorrow... can you tell that I'm ready for a weekend.

20070170000285

pathetic

So I'm really hungry before lunch today and decide i'm going to walk across the street and get a sandwich. Walk outside of the building and i saw a TACO WAGON and seriously thought about going to eat at it and started walking in that direction. Then as I walk up to it... I notice it really said Tag Wagon (Toll Tag selling bus).

I don't know which is worse, the fact that I was going to eat at a "Taco Wagon" or that I can't see large print 20 feet away from me. I should really wear my glasses.

Television Watching

I do have to say, television is not something i tend to watch a lot of these days, although i do get sucked in a few times a year on certain shows, but there will always be one that is near my heart... Seinfeld.

I'm not sure if it's just because i feel almost as if every real life experience can relate to a Seinfeld episode in some way, or maybe its the fact that my dad loved and made me watched it (We only had one TV as a kid and no cable). Or it could be that it is so well thought out and the episodes really come together to create a great show. I know several people probably disagree, well... you're wrong and I'm right... so get over it.

I just got Season 7 in the mail via Amazon (love the online shopping experience) and watched a few episodes last night prior to my hockey game (which we kicked ass in: 8-0). I love to laugh, so that probably helps, but i felt like i was laughing all the way through the first two episodes. It's just a gekius kind of show i guess.

As far as other shows go, not too many compare. I've seen a few episodes of the office, which i found very funny, but never got hooked. I do get caught up in Grey's, but that's probably more due to the fact that every Thursday my place turns into a Grey's watching party (which i don't mind). 24 was a big deal for me last year, but i fell out of the loop and now don't know who most of the people are (except Jack Bauer, because he is just one hell of a bad ass). Somehow i watched about 5 episodes of Desperate Housewives in a row... it was rather funny, but then i got bored with it. MTV has some good ones that I'm embarrassed to watch and am pretty sure that you'd laugh if i told you i love to watch them (Next, Sweet 16, Real World, Parental Control, and others that i can't think of but I'm sure i waste time sometimes laughing at the stupidity of the content in the show and how i must be getting stupider as i watch). I'm sure there are others... but you get the point.

Overall, they say the average person watches 4.5 hours a day. I'm not sure how that is possible, but I would imagine that on an average week... I probably watch about 10 hours of television. So if I live for 80 years (i have high hopes), and i probably started watching television when I was 5... = 75 years *10 hours a week *52 weeks in a year = 37,440 hours = 1,560 days = 4.25 years. Meaning I will spend probably 4.25 years of my life watching television coming out to 5% of my life spent doing that. Does that seem like a waste to anyone else... or am i just crazy?

Imagine if we had to live life without television like back in the day, society was probably a lot more productive back then. Guess that's just the way it is.

This is me exhaling.

It's Tuesday... bad day to all

NOTE: This post may be confusing, ask me if you have questions.

Where to end oh where to end.

So today... i'm going commando. That's right I said i love it (refer to past entry), but i won a bet. I made a bet yesterday with someone that i would not have anything to drink last night. I had nothing to drink... so i won. HA. Beat that. Boo ya ka shah!

The one down part of the night had to have been meeting one girl in particular. She was boring, dumb as a fleece, younger than me (at least that is the impression i got when she called someone else close to my age an old man), not cute, and just i don't know. It was just all bad. I mean seriously, she writes in a blog which is an action i find completly stupid and a waste of time (confused... me too). I guess that is the way things go sometimes though especially when it's a monday night in a bar.

This is me breathing. Side note... Tuesday is the goodest (it's a new word... look it up on google/urban dictionary) day of the week because it is opposite day.

I'm The King of Beer Pong

Beer pong... an old ancient Chinese traditional style game generally played by drunken people who try to increase there athletic ability with alcohol consumption. This is my definition of Beer Pong.

On Saturday night, the night started with some mild drinking since I was still strongly recovering from the night before. A house party with lots of older rich nice people. Eventually, we proceed to a bar. Jam the night away until 2 am. And then the famous words... "let's play beerpong". Holla back.

So we head over to the West Village, in some crazy empty town home that belongs to some Army guy. He is very nice considering we just barged into his place and started drinking his beer and setting things up. After the first round, the team i was supporting lost, so i jumped in and led them to victory. Some people just aren't any good at throwing the ping pong ball at all. Especially the drunk girl who vomited off the balcony and then passed out and couldn't even stand up on our team. She was basically leaning on me much of the night as i continued to push her up each time she started to fall. Eventually she left, and we won with out her. Soon we ran out of beer... so we used wine for beer pong (VERY STUPID). Chugging wine is not the best thing... but it worked. All in all, i stumbled into my house around 630 am... and the night was done. Hello Sunday!

This is me breathing.

License and registration... chicken fucker.

On Sunday as I drove back from the fantabulous Austin, TX, I couldn’t help but go a little fast. Suddenly, I noticed I was approaching a cop. I slowed down to 70 on the cruise control (5 over the speed limit) and continued on my way. Next thing I know, I’m passing the cop. My gekius self decides it’s not a bad idea to pass a cop only going 5 over. So I pass him successfully and continue driving at 70 mph not thinking much of it. About 5 minutes later I notice Mr. State Trooper is behind me with his lights on. WTF… there must be an emergency up ahead. So I move to the right, and I notice he moves to the right. What a retard… I’m moving out of your way I thought. Then… it hit me. He wants to pull me over, must be some simple mistake like he thinks my inspection sticker is expired. For about a split second, I thought about flooring it and running, then I realized my supped up Toyota Camry would probably leave him in the dust and make him feel bad, so I pulled over.

I begin to assume the position, turn the car off, roll down the window, and put my hands on the steering wheel. This in case you don’t know is the position of a not guilty person. He comes up and asks if I know how fast I was going… typical retarded cop question. I say, “Yes sir, had the cruise control set on 70”. He replies back with a firm “I paced you at 80”. It was at that moment, that I thought, you paced? PACED? You have a f’in radar gun for a reason, use it to confirm your pacing suspicions. His stupidity reminded me of a drunken sorority girl I met at a toga party once that thought the square root of 9 was 81…

I look at him and say, “It doesn’t really make sense that I would pass you going 80 when I saw you, I mean that is just ridiculous, I’m certain I was going 70”. He replies back, “yeah I thought the same thing, guess you were wrong.”

"Come on meow” I reply back, thankfully he didn’t notice my rude and offensive reference the great movie Super Troopers. “I’ll be back with your citation”.

You have to be kidding me, this guy is wrong clearly in my mind and I am right. I wouldn’t have been that pissed, except for the fact that this was my second ticket in less than three weeks. Needless to say, I’m going to do all I can to get this thrown out or deferred or whatever. For once, I’m actually pissed at the Nation of Texas. Remember the Alamo!!

This is me breathing.

Dirty Dirty

I know when I used to think of snow, i would always remember the beautiful ski trails and marvelous mountains covered in the beautiful white snow. Clearly snow was not made to make the big city look pretty because it is not. The sides of the road of downtown Minneapolis are covered in piles of grayish-blackish dirty dirty snow that is not pretty at all. And in the crosswalks and through out the sidewalks it turns into a frozen muddish substance i will refer to as snot. It is not pretty and definitely not good for dress shoes. This makes me glad to live in Texas where we don't have to see snot at all. I've never seen it in Texas for the past 24.75 years.

Whistler in 3 weeks... get ready.

This is me breathing.

I'm a nice guy...

Right. Tonight as I was walking down 2nd street in front of my favorite building in Minnesota (the back of the Local bar is covered in Music notes on the back and I think it's awesome and it reminds me of my mom since she loves music), a homeless man asked why i looked so down and sad. I told him I wasn't sad and it was at that moment our relatioinship began. From that moment on, I was Jim Carrey to him and he thought I was pretty funny. We talked a little bit standing there in the 15 degree weather (probably 5 with wind chill) and he finally began to aks for some money so that he could get some fried chicken. I told him, no money, but I'll take you to chipotle. After come coercing, i was able to persuade him that Carnitas Tacos would be great. he finally gave in.

We walked over there. Ordered our food and sat down. He was a very messy eater I guess and i felt bad for how fast he was eating. He told me it was his first meal today and that it had been a pretty bad day. I later learned he was a Hurricane Wilma victim and has a wife and two kids. He hasn't seen his kids in a while or his wife and things didn't seem to be going great with them. He spoke very much of how he misses them. Then he continued to talk of how sad he is and how he feels like he is stuck. I tried giving him encouragment and telling him to keep trying and working hard and that things will work out (I'm not sure how true that really is)... but i figure positive enforcement is the best.

So all in all... no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always someone that has things worse. It's sad to say, but it's true. I hope things work out for the best for him.

This is me breathing.

So... Cold...

Today... I live at the airport. This morning, I woke up at 4:40 AM for my 6:00 AM flight, only to soon realize that it was really 6:50 AM and that i never actually turned the alarm on, i just left it in the Set Mode. So I ended up missing my flight, having to pay 100 bucks to take the 5:30 PM flight tonight, and I don't feel like driving so I figure I will just work from the airport. The worse feeling was probably this morning as i walked down my icy stairs and busted my butt on them. Didn't feel to great. As I walked down the stairs, I prayed that my car was there, and that I did not drive it. It was there... and i got word this morning that I did not drive it. Thank you lord.

All this... I blame on one thing. Yup, that's right. I'm retarded.

The worse part is... it's freezing cold in the airport. I'm beginning to think that they are actually running the A/C even though it's 26 degrees outside. It's at this time that i wish i owned a parka or some other extremely warm piece of clothing other than my north face fleece that is failing to keep me warm.

Last night is kind of a blur, supposedly the last thing that happened to me was i fell down outside the bathroom. I'm pretty sure I made a fool of myself, but that's what i get for drinking my arch enemy... Jack N Coke. It beat me up for sure last night, and it didn't help that i drank them at the bar in Dallas that is known for having the strongest drinks. Oh well. We all make mistakes right.

Change is definitely needed. "I lack the courage for even the simplest of deeds".

This is me breathing.

Boxers, Briefs, or Commando!

Guys fortunately have a few options to choose when it comes to under garments. I remember as a kid I wore whitey tightys... but eventually for some strange reason made the transition. And when i look back on it, I have no idea why, but it must have been one of the best decisions of my life in terms of comfortability.

I know a small percentage of people that go commando. I did it once or twice (only because my boxers got messed up or lost), but it was very uncomfortable. The rubbage of jean material on teh sensitive parts of the body is not nice at all and can be very irritating and painful.

Anyway, commando doesn't make sense, and whitey tightys are for boys... boxers are the way to go.

My Favorite Physical Force

The Centripetal force is not one that I 100% understand, but i do think it is one of the more useful ones in the world to somewhat understand.

Physics was by far my favorite subject in High School, although, I didn't really excel in it, I still found everything we learned to be very interesting. It helped understand the motion of things and how the world really operates.

So what does F(Centripetal) equal to... well its m * ( V^2/r). What does it mean, well.. any motion in a curved path represents accelerated motion and requires a force toward the center of the curvature. This is the center seeking force.

How can you apply it to everyday life... in your car, when driving on a curved road, before going into the turn, all your velocity is going straight. The mistake most people make is they break, and the velocity/motion of the car continues to go straight. The key thing to do in a turn is accelerate, so that the acceleration of your car is pointed in the new direction. This is the key to driving and mostly race car driving that most people don't understand. And I digress.

No Post Today

Wait for it....

Are they really Cubes?

The cube world is an interesting place. Technically I work inside of a rectangular prism without a top, but that would just be really strange if we called them that. Cube is short fast and easy to say.

Anyways, I'm not sure if all places are like where I am at now, but I've noticed that everyone has there own little world almost inside of their cube. Some people decorate it like it's there home, others talk on the phone in there outside voice and seem to want everyone to know what is going on in their personal life (and no janey, i don't care how much apple sauce your son threw up yesterday and i doubt the person on the phone you are talking to really cares, unless you are talking to god, because he cares about everything).

The one really strange thing about our internal cube worlds, is that when people sneeze, even in the cube next to us, no one says God Bless You or kazoontite. Which is odd to me, because we all hear it, but no one says anything even though it is the appropriate thing to do. Maybe I'm just crazy and a God bless you Nazi, but just my thoughts. And i Digress.

Day 3 of 2007. Keep on rocking in the free world.

Welcome to 2007

It's going to be a good year, I can already tell in so many ways. The following reasons are how I can already tell:

1. On my first flight of the year (this morning), we were delayed 20 minutes because they had to de-ice the plane (that's right, in Texas they have to do it sometimes, but my first time in Texas), I got to sit next to a rather large man who i definitely rubbed shoulders with the entire flight, and to top it off there was a man snoring rather loudly on the flight that really made me laugh since he was louder than a train being powered by horse manure. It was hot and romantic.
2. I went out yesterday, played waterfall with some friends and was already drunk again by 6 pm on the first day of the year.
3. I'm in Minnesota right now, and its only 36 degrees. Tonight I will try and run and hopefully not fall on the icy sidewalks or from hypothermia. I can do it.

As a result of these 3 negative ways to start, I believe i should counter them by purchase season 7 of Seinfeld on DVD. I watched all of season 6 this past weekend and can't remember laughing so much. And I digress.

rip it

It's 6 11 am on a saturday and i know gekius doesn't normally post at this time of the weekend, but i was inspired tonight.

The night started with board games.. I was quickly put on the drunk team and we cheated our way to last place just because it was funny. Next thing i know, we are spinning in the chair as fast as we can while chugging beer. I'm drunk at this point. Stumble to the loon, have a few too many drinks and shots... and then it's 2 am. ripper bar is next. we drive really far (not me, i couldnt have operated a micro machine car at this point), we get to the ripper bar...

me

last night was just like any other typical drinking night with an old work friend. I had originally intended to get there late and leave early... fat chance of that happening. Arrived there at 530, left the first bar at 930 only to go on to the next one until 1 am. I'm realizing something, I think I'm getting old, I've never been tired at a bar really before and generally been the one pushing to go more, but last night, around 1130, I was really tired. I couldn't pull myself out of it. Getting old sucks.

In other news, it has been decided that next year is YOM. Year of Me. After a lot of hard thought, i need to focus my attention more on me next year and taking care of me. The last year had been pretty wild and that will all be changing if i have anything to say.

Anyways, hope everyone has a marvelous new years and drinks lots of champagne (or boones farm like me). See you in 2007.

New Year... New Me

New Years is approaching faster than ever... what are you doing for New Years tends to be the question of the day from just about everyone I know. As of now, a party that I missed last year is what is on my agenda, and knowing the people that put it on, it will be a damn good party. Topping last year shouldn't be too difficult as far as having fun.

All in all, new years is a time for new beginning and the new me. The year of 2006 was rightfully named the YOD year for me for several reasons, but what will the theme for 2007 be? Any Ideas? All I have so far is YOMR... Year Of Mental Recovery which doesn't make a lick of sense to me. The suggestion box is open.

As for New Years resolutions, my number one is to stop making bad decisions. Let's see how long I can keep that up, I'm imaging that since the bars close at 2 am on Jan 1, I will be successful for about an entire 2 hours... if I make it that long. We shall see how everything goes when I wake up on Jan 1.

A friend once said....

"That was the best pee in my life"

After I heard this, I reminisced back to all the times when I felt like I might have just had the best piss in my life (girls say pee, guys say piss, it's just more manly or something like that). What can constitute and contribute to the feeling of the best piss in your life? I would like to think that for one thing, you have to be holding it for an extreme amount of time and something has to be preventing you from going (a long line, no bathrooms in site, etc). Another thing that would make a pee great were if you were freezing cold passed out drunk, and just went in your pants. I would like to think that the warm pee would increase the body temperature making you happy inside. However, once it cooled down, you would be much colder than you were before since you would be wet.

So in conclusion (this is how i used to wrap up my 3rd grade papers... love it), the best pee that i have ever had in my life had to be the time i had a few margaritas, but forgot to go to the bathroom before i left the restaurant. On my way home, traffic was worse than a two dollar hooker trying to make 3 dollars on a trick, but luckily i had an empty cup in my car. Yeah, you can put two and two together to figure out what i did. It was dirty, but i felt a million times better after that.

Surprise From Mexico. That's right, i'm posting and I'm in Mexico believe it or not. Things are great down here and not too cold or hot. But no one speaks english... so we can't really talk to anybody except ourselves. Haven't been kidnapped yet (knock on wood), but things are going great. Peace, Love, and harmony to all.

Mexico Trip

Tomorrow I leave for Mexico for a climbing trip down to El Potrero Chico. I've heard several great things about the place and hopefully all will go smoothly and the weather will cooperate (if not, then i'll be drinking a lot of fresh coronas). The mountain itself has several multi pitch climbs including one 10 pitch which I do not believe we will have the power to do, but it will be cool to check it out and remember for our next trip to Potrero.

Few things I'm worried about, getting into mexico, getting out of mexico, people stealing stuff, drinking water, donkey shows, and other crazy things that can happen in Mexico. I'm almost all packed up and ready to. I'll be back and make special post on Christmas day to recap the trip and let you know how smoothly everything has gone. Have a great Christmas fellow gekius readers, and fear not, because i will return in less than 2 piece, but more than 0.

On another note, one more girl checked off my list that I won't have to deal with anymore. But that's life... and life goes on. Merry Christmas everyone.

mmm French Fries

French Fries, they aren't really french (actually started in Belgium), but they are fried. They have become a very popular side to the hamburger and have probably helped the ketchup industry make more money than they thought they could ever make. On the other side of the pond, they use mayonnaise, which just sounds completely gross to me, but then again, things are different over there.

Anyways, so who has the best french fries. Many people would argue down to the bone that McDonald's does. Recently McDonald's agreed to get rid of the trans fat in their Fries to show that they are health conscious. This modification to the McD French Fry could have a larger impact than they desired. The taste just isn't the same, and never will be. That small amount of trans fat that was in every fry, people's body's will crave it and not know what to do without it when they eat these fries.

On the bright side, this will give other fast food restaurants a great shot at the top fry... maybe Wendy's or Burger King will step up to the plate and hit a home run.

The future of French Fries, i foresee that some day there will be fries stuffed with chicken or steak, carrots, or some other kind of food. Much like the stuffed crust pizza, soon the trend will catch on to the fries. And when it does, i will say... I told you so.

Christmas Present From Gekius

Consider this to be my Christmas Present to you all:

http://video.nbc.com/v/?linkId=51289&sender=j@budd.tv&name=John

If you like SNL and Justin Timberlake, you will love this video. Please note that this video may not be appropriate for work as this is the uncensored version.

Anyways, the weekend was great, date on Friday night and Party on Saturday night, can't ask for much more than that. I leave for Mexico in a few days for a big climbing trip, things have been pretty hectic since there a lot of things you have to do in order to drive into Mexico. Not sure why, it's just like Texas isn't it?

Get back to work, it's only Monday and you have shit to do.

"'cause it's Friday

You ain't go no job... and you ain't got shit to do"

Yeah, I got shit to do, but it's Friday like Chris Tucker said in Friday. And it's going to be the start to a glorious weekend, I can already feel it. Tonight will be a wine night, Saturday Beer/Whiskey night, and Sunday, probably another wino kind of night. That is my prediction for the weekend, let's see how well i stick to it.

Anyways, what is up with La Madeleine. It's currently 2:30 in the great state of Texas and i look out my office and see La Madeleine. It is ridiculously crowded with at least 75 cars in front of it. I know the French are weird and eat at all times of the day, but we are in U.S. of A and I don't think its normal or right for people to be eating there at this hour. Just my two cents.

2.5 more hours of work, start the count down now... BREAK!

I guess I'm giving up on Coke

Yesterday was the last day I can drink coke, that's right. I'm giving it up, again. But this time it's for real, it's not like all those times I quit drinking alcohol (quit for 40 days), or quit eating chocolate (quit for 40 days), or any other quit attempt. I will do it this time.

Motivation is generally important in situations like this, and all other times, I have had some kind of bet or motivational reason to doing it. I'm going beyond normal and doing it without motivation.

The Rules:
1. Any can that opens and goes Kepish!! (except beer)

Can't think of any others, but that sounds reasonable to me. The times I'm going to be screwed are the times that I eat pizza and other foods that go well with coke. But there is always water, and either way, coke is just one of those temporary satisfactions in life that people are addicted to. It's not necessary to have coke, and there are always alternatives (unless you are the coke bottling company for a tour, in which case i will just have to pass on all liquids, dehydrate, and risk death).

Here's a holla for badunkadunk!

I'm all over the map today, so watch out

"Lord knows I'm weak,
Won't Somebody get me off of this reef."

When all problems are resolved, I'll feel like I'm off this reef. I remember hearing this song one time when i was driving a good friend of mine home after a few drinks. It was a good night for several reasons including the epiphany it just made me realize after hearing this song.

Do you ever wish that you could jump ahead one month to see what the outcome of your actions may be in regards to everything in your life. Almost like just a quick hit that would let you know everything that would happen because of an event or group of events and the impacts that it would have. Because I have that ability, it has taken me a while to acquire it, but after some careful harnessing of my chi, I have mastered the art of it. So let me know if you have any questions about life, because i have the answers.

Well I guess this is growing up?

Have a great Wednesday.

I like the way they talk

Like the Beastie Boys song says:

"Girls, all i realy want is girls"

What a line, but how true is it. Yes I like girls, but do I really want plural, that can be expensive, exausting, and really exciting all at the same time. The year comes to a close in about 18 days, the year has been long and I don't know if i want the end to come, or if i'm enjoying 2006 yod way too much. 2007 will be different, it has to be, i made myself promise that a while back and i'm not sure how easy it will be to go from what i've become in 2006, but i'm going to do my best because thats all i can do. Even if its not good enough for everyone else.

Things have only become more confusing in the past few days, but then again, things always work out for me. We all have our ups and downs, and in my opinion the problems i'm creating for myself today will be solved sooner or later, it's all just a matter of time. So don't worry, be happy.

I'm a bad bad man

It was a long weekend. You only wish you could have been there it was so great. Peace out.

Also, I'm a bad man after tonight. You know what I'm talking about.

White Rock

Its White Rock Marathon weekend this coming weekend, and if you don't know what that means, its code for drunken weekend full of nakedness, boozing, and running.

This will be the third annual for myself and a group of five other guys. The past two years we have traditionally done the same thing, and this year all will be held constant. Saturday night generally will start with a ton of drinking at the G Man. Team meeting is held afterwards a few blocks away where bronze statues of little kids playing exist. The statues are really funny since they consists of kids holding out their hands, waiting for some kind of gift or something. And we give them that gift of our... well we are boys and we get naked... you figure out what goes in their hands. Following that, we proceed to someones house to crash... generally sometime around 4 am falling asleep.

BEEP BEEP... its 7 am, time to wake up and go run 4 - 6.2 miles (depending on your leg). Last year as i approached the starting line, i vomited. I smelled of booze and vomit, and was dressed as a referree. Race starts... and I'm off. Then around mile 3.5 i was attacked by my team and forced to down a beer. Finally after running 6 miles, i was met at the relay point by my team where the next runner and i downed a beer. Good times.

This event is probably one of the most strenuous things i have done in my life to my body. Abuse is an understatement. Why do we do it then? I really don't know, but it is always good times and provides great future stories. This year will be no different, if I don't post on Monday, well, that means I probably passed. Have a great weekend and see you Monday.

Is That an Acme Brick Stuck to your head?

So I’m driving to work this morning on Oaklawn, and as soon as I hit Cedar Springs (the Gayberhood), I hit traffic. This is odd, because it never happens except at 2 am when the gay bars let out and drunken gay guys and Lesbos are running around looking for a hook up which isn’t hard at that time of night in that area of town… and I digress.

Anyways, I’m sitting there very bored out of my mind and notice that the person’s head in front of me has something odd about it. There ear seems to have some strange pen shaped stick coming out of it, oh wait, that is the antenna to their Zack Morris Cell phone popping out of their head. Now, driving with a cell phone is ok and all, but this person was using a ton of hand expressions while talking on the cell phone. That’s right, no hands on the wheel, I’m not sure how they were managing to drive in the dead stop traffic. But anyways, back to my point, non verbal communication on a cell phone is pointless. The person can’t see you… duh. Not a big deal, some people talk with their hands (and there is a point that it gets annoying).

Goals before I'm 30

Below is a list of goals I have come up with that I would like to achieve prior to turning 30 years old (the Tri Deca Birthday)

- Climb/hike to an altitude higher then 18,000 feet
- Visit South America (see glacier and hike around)
- Run a marathon or a half marathon will suffice, extra points for the full
- Stop drinking for 90 days
- Be able to Lead climb
- Own a house
- Have X amount of dollars saved for retirment (If you really want to know my goal, let me know)
- Salary = X amount of dollars
- Increase cooking knowledge and acquire a new signature dish besides Chicken Parmesan

Peace.

Email is something that is used extremely frequently in today’s business world. It seems as if email etiquette though was not taught to everyone. Luckily I took a class that actually had lessons where we learned to write emails correctly. One of my favorite replies I got from a question I asked follows:

My email: Does this mean the file from reserve was processed successfully?
Response: Please.

Please? What does that mean; it is a "yes or no" question. I never replied back to the email above and just took my best guess that “Please” must have meant yes. Time and time again I get email responses that appear as if the user did not even read my email, because there answer has nothing to do with what I am asking. Now I understand misspelling sometimes, not attaching docs, and other common mistakes, but if you are going to respond, please make your answer somewhat understandable. Thanks.

Christmas Time... is here

It’s that time of year again… the time when the streets are covered with lights and everyone is happy because its Christmas time. Well, most people are happy.

If I had to imagine, stress levels are typically peak around this time of year. With all the crowded shopping, the family visits, buying Christmas presents, baking cookies, drinking eggnog, never ending Christmas parties, writing Christmas cards, faking a smile more than normal, and several other actions that can increase stress levels.

So how will we all deal with this peak in stress, well in theory, if everyone’s stress increases by the same amount, and all else is held constant, than chaos will of course ensue… right? Wrong, the actual result in everyone’s stress increasing causes trash to go increase. Believe it or not, when people stress, they eat more, smoke more, use more, and therefore increase the amount of trash produced. So try not to stress, and try not to create more trash, because there’s already way to much in this world.

Or, just give up stressing out like I did 2 years ago.

How many?

How many partners is too many? We all have our set number of standards on what we think may or may not be appropriate. In general, most females (excluding whores, skanks, sluts, and girls that just like to have fun in that way), tend to have less sexual partners than males (12.4 is the male average and 7.2 is the female average). How do you compare to the average?

More than a quarter (27%) of the people in the world have only had one partner. One person... wow is all i have to say.

Sometimes i wonder what percentage of the world has never had sex(over the legal age of 18, except Kazakhstan where the legal age is 8). Or is it possible to go one's entire life with out having sex (and without molesting boys all you crazy priests and bishops who take a vow of "celibacy")?

In other news... i joined an online pyramid scheme today that "pays" for reading emails. Check it out if you have tons of time and want to try it, no guarantees, but if it works I'll definitely write about it in the future. And if you do do it, set up a separate email address so you don't get tons of crap in a personal email box... just a recommendation.

You Go Bob

Bob Barker... i'm not sure if he created the Price Is Right, but he damn well made it a great show. Bringing on those beautiful girls to model the products, and the ridiculously creative games, and who could forget, "A NEW CAR!!!". And who could forget how he closed off every show... "Help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or netured." He was pretty hardcore about spay and neutering pets... not really sure why, must have been some kind of child hood tragedy (perhaps he was raped by a turtle). In reality, he has been very outspoken about animal rights ever since his wife passed in 1981. In fact, he prohibits the airing of prior shows where fur coats as prizes.

Other then the Price Is Right, Bob married his high school sweet heart which is pretty amazing. He was the host of the price is right from September 4, 1972 and will soon be retiring for good from the show in June 2007 (recently announced on October 31, 2006), which is a very long time.

Anyways, overall, I believe he was a great guy who cared a lot about others. A very positive man that should be more recognized for the great work he has done.

Damn Cold

Cold is an understatement as to what the weather is currently like in Minneapolis, MN. I just stood outside for about five minutes to catch a taxi, and when the wind blows, you feel like Steve O felt after snorting Wasabi. Currently the thermometer on my computer states that it is 15 degrees... and with wind chill... 3 degrees. Farenheith that is. Yeah, you heard me right, it's not even December and its already almost below 0 with wind chill.

Currently I live in Dallas, Tx and travel to Minneapolis for 30% of my work which isn't much, but I'm going to have to break out the big code next time.

Anyways, just thought I'd let you know, I'm freezing my ass off.

Why are you drinking… Because it’s Tuesday?

Now that is what winos say if you ask me. Because it’s Tuesday? (This came from Patton Oswald, a comedian I’m going to see in Austin, Texas this coming weekend)

In other news, I noticed an interesting feature in Microsoft Word a week or so ago. The grammar check has some odd inconsistencies if you ask me. The following phrase would be caught by the grammar check as a fragment:

The. <- Fragment

However, just by changing the period to a exclamation mark, it all changes and the “sentence” is perfectly fine according to MS Word.

The! <- Not a fragment

I don’t really understand what the difference is, but Bill Gates must have some opinion on this. Oh well… just one of life’s greatest mysteries.

Super Duper Powers

What would your super power be if you could have one?

First thing that came to my mind, was the ability to read minds. But then I thought about it a little more, and realized that I might not want to know what a lot of people are thinking, it could be gross, cruel, strange, or not nice things about me that I would rather not know. So that’s an X on that one.

X-Ray Vision… not so much. Having the ability to see through people’s cloths can be good and bad depending on what/whom you are looking at. Plus, I ever really understood x-ray vision. Is there some kind of adjustment that you can adjust the intensity, because why would your vision only allow you to see through a wall… or cloths? Because if not, wouldn’t you just see through everything and then technically, not see anything? Does this make sense or am I just crazy? So that’s an X to X-ray vision.

Flying, that sounds about right. As long as I could fly extremely fast. This would allow me to travel the world at great speeds and “fly” for free. No car would be necessary for me, since I can always just fly, thus saving me money on gas. It would also just be amazing to see the world from really high up above.

What would your super power be?

I'm A Cop You Idiot

Arnold Schwarzenegger, what a guy. He has gone from gigantic body builder, to successful movie actor (Terminator), and Governor of California. If this isn't a success story for someone who pumped more roids then a force fed chicken.

Anyways, steroids... should they be illegal. Do they cause damage to our society as a whole, or just one retarded individual who just wants to be bigger (don't really understand why someone would want this). The list of side effects is rather long, but interesting:

Acne, baldness, prostate cancer, increased blood pressure, raise cholesterol, males can develop breasts from high levels of circulating estrogen, reduced sexual functionality, reduced size in testicles, female hair loss, deepening of the voice, and several others

As a result of my long hard thought analysis, steroids should be illegal. The long term health problems that can be caused will only cost citizens more money in the long run (then again we could say the same thing about eating McDonald's or other fast food, but you know how it is). It also isn't fair in sports. So be wise... don't do steroids.

The New Superhero

Pomegranate Juice is something we should all drink a little bit of everyday. There are several healthy reasons behind it:

1. Your body produces free radicals from internal and external sources (pollution, alcohol, pesticides, sunlight, smoke, drugs, fried foods, and others). The antioxidants in pomegranate Juice fight hard to prevent the free radicals from doing damage.

2. Heart disease is one of the leading killers in America for men and women. Atheroslerosis or too much plaque in the arteries leads to heart attacks. Research has shown that antixodiants may help minimze the oxidation of LDL cholesterol which can cause these things.

3. Diets containing fruits and vegtables that contain antioxidants (like POM), along with exercies, might slow or help prevent the development of cancer.

So start every day off with a class of POM juice... it might not taste as good as a cold beer at 8 am, but it will help your body in the long run.

Minimalization

I strongly believe that we should all strive to live off of less than what we have. Society has trained us to believe that more and more is better, but do we really need all the crap that we buy. I imagine that only about 1% of the items I own are absolute necessities that I could not do without. Those being:

Food
Shelter
Toothbrush/Toothpaste
Soap
Water
Books
Computer

I had to throw the computer in there, because someday when I do decide to become a minimalist I will need the computer to continue writing this blog… Duh.

Continental breakfast… What the hell does that mean?

Why on earth do hotels offer a breakfast called continental breakfast? In my opinion, it should be called Mediocre Breakfast.

Wikipedia defines it as the following:

“An institutional meal plan based on lighter Mediterranean breakfast traditions and served in hotels world-wide is known as a European "Continental breakfast". It is a light snack meant to tide one over until lunch. It consists mainly of coffee and milk (often mixed as Cappuccino or latte) with a variety of sweet cakes such as brioche and pastries such as croissant, often with a sweet jam, cream, or chocolate filling. It is often served with juice.”

Institutional… Mediterranean…European…None of these are words that come to mind when I think of continental breakfast. So I have decided to re-write the definition for Wikipedia.

A crappy meal plan based on a 3^rd world countries breakfast traditions typically served in cheap hotels for free. It is a shitty light snack that does not hold you over until lunch (forcing customers to load up there bags with extra food and “steal”). It consists of some liquids, some solids, cereal, and nasty milk that generally comes from a machine (never drink milk that comes out of a machine, it is made from powder which is not normal). Sometimes there is still orange juice (there is never enough for everyone, there is always an abundant supply of the shit juices like grapefruit, cranberry, and piss).

The end.

Beating the System

How many passwords do you have memorized… how many expired passwords do you have memorized that you can’t use for the next 10 passwords you create on that system (system rules sometimes prohibit one from using any of their past 10 passwords)?

I have figured out a way to beat the systems that do not let you change the password to any of your last 10 passwords. It’s quite simple actually. Just change your password 10 times when they ask you to change it… and then change it back to the original. That way you never have to memorize a new password. It may take an extra two minutes, but you won’t have to spend time entering the old password accidentally or memorizing the new password.

Maybe someday there won’t be such a need for passwords and instead it will be some kind of magical identification method (retina scans, saliva tests, or ear scans… who knows). However, until that time though, unfortunately, we will all have to memorize (and re-memorize my changing passwords) 20 different passwords to use on multiple systems.

The AI of the Turkey

Caution: The following may not be appropriate for you. You have been warned.

Demand for turkeys this time of year is probably greater than ever if I had to imagine. You might be wondering, where do all of these turkeys really come from and how do they produce enough for the consumption of turkey during Thanksgiving and Christmas. Artificial Insemination is your answer. That’s right, they rape the turkeys.

Essentially what is done is a person sits in the room full of male turkeys, picks one up, rubs and squeezes it, causing the male turkey to ejaculate into a valve that collects the semen. From there they do the reverse to the female turkeys (hens), clamp there legs open using metal forceps, and then they inseminate the hen. Each worker can inseminate on average 1,200 – 1,400 hens within two hours.

If you want more details about the process that the turkeys go through and the harsh living situations they have, visit http://www.satyamag.com/nov06/beeby.html.

Few final thoughts/questions:

Animal cruelty? Absolutely.
Is this something the government should do something about? Yes.
Am I going to eat turkey for thanksgiving? Yes.

Gobble Gobble

Why the left lane?

Are you that heffer in the left lane that refuses to move out either:

A. because you are stupid
B. because you are trying to slow me down
C. because you just want to get shot at

If you are, please follow the law and get in the right lane. And if you are in the right lane, please at least go the speed limit... not 10 MPH under it. It's a little frustrating and its not because I'm in a hurry, patience is a virtue, it's because you are just retarded and really need to follow the law. I wish more tickets were handed out for idiot drivers. They are the ones that cause accidents generally which cause my insurance rates to be high.

Sunshiny Day

It’s Friday, which is one of my favorite days and I can already get that feeling its going to be a good one. Movies are a great escape for people and I love to watch them as I’m sure many others do. One of my favorite actors of all time probably has to be John Cusack. Why? Well because he plays one character role so well, that he has repeatedly performed beyond expectations. What is that role?

The sad broken hearted ex boyfriend that is confused about life and not knowing what to do next.

Starting with the classic Better Off Dead, Grosse Pointe Blank, and High Fidelity are probably three of Cusack’s greatest movies and in all of those he plays a character that has been broken up with, or experienced some kind of heart breaking relationship tragedy. He always plays the part so well and to me is who John Cusack really is… he is a guy who has experienced several hard break ups and lives to tell his story. All in all, he is most one of my favorite actors and I continue to love seeing him in roles similar to this.

So just because it’s Friday, you should remember, that it’s going to be a bright, bright, bright, sunshiny day.

You Can Do It... it's not that hard

I’m a little embarrassed to be a guy when I walk in the 12 Floor Northside Men’s Restroom at my client. It has to always be the dirtiest bathroom I’ve ever used when it comes to the urinals. I just flat out avoid the toilets because I would hate to see what the guys on this floor do to those… whoa.

Anyways, I’ve walked in multiple times and there are always puttles of piss on the floor underneath the urinal, I don’t quite understand how people miss that bad, but they need to be taught. I feel really bad for the people that have to clean it, but I also feel bad for people like me who have to stand in it. I know its just the sole of my shoe, but that is still gross.

So please, men, when you pee… hit the target.

She’s SINGLE Again!!

All my love letters must have reached her and I really feel like I have a lot to do with the divorce of Britney Spears and that loser K Fed. I’ve been writing letters daily for the past 3 years, and every once in a while I get some kind of restraining order deal from LAPD (K-Fed has been reading the letters and is jealous).

But anyways, I’m already planning my trip to LA to meet with her, maybe I’ll propose to her in a similar way that Borat proposed to Pamela Anderson…jk, I’m not that mean. But I do think it is our destiny… with her being from Louisiana and me being from Texas, we were practically neighbors growing up.

And since Britney is a huge fan of my blog, she is probably reading this now, I love you honey bunny and I’ll see you and the two boys (Technically, they are most likely mine) soon.

Why I refuse to vote.

It's simple, I'm ignorant. Why am I, because I do not really care about politics, a lot of it seems like bullshit to me and a lot of it outside of my control. Pretend I really did care about an issue; what can I actually do to make our government change their mind. For example the war, I don’t agree with it, I doubt that me casting my vote today would really help get us out, because everyone knows we can’t get out. The end.

All in all, if I did go vote today, I would look at the ballot, maybe recognize a name or two, and just pick randomly. Does that really seem right; I believe ignorant people like me should not have the right to vote, because if anything, there randomness may just be ruining the country? So you should thank me for not ruining the political system and voting for people who have funny names like Kinky Friedman.

I would like to think that someday I will have more time on my hands to know what to do with, at that point in my life I will do research and actually vote. But for now, I have better things to do (drink, play, and live life).

Thank you.

Drinks that I don’t get

The following are a list of drinks that do not make sense and should be banned by the government for not only tasting terrible, but wasting valuable shelf space at the grocery store:

1. Mr. Pibb – Just because Coke feels that it needs to compete with Dr Pepper, (Which was created in the greatest nation in the world, Texas) doesn’t mean they can make a copy and then make it taste like crap. For some reason Coke continues to make this horrific drink in a can and they even wasted time recently by changing the name to Pibb Xtra… seriously, what are they doing?

2. Fanta/Fresca/Fruit Sodas – All of these are just absolutely obsurd. Soda is not supposed to have a fruit flavor and that is final.

3. Gatorade – How many different flavors can they make now…

Frost High Tide (last I checked there is no frost at high tide)

Fierce Grape (if anything grapes are the weakest of fruits and are no where near fierce)

Xtreme Citrico (just think about it, it doesn’t sound right)

Passion Fruit (what about fruit is passionate)

Honestly, how did they come up with these names, did they just pick random words out of the dictionary and put them next to each other.

I’m sure there are plenty other drinks out there that strive to be the best on the market, but they never will be. So what is the ultimate drink you may be asking yourself… well it’s a combination of hops, barley, yeast, and water... in most countries known as BEER.

Traffic Jam… When you’re already late

Traffic, what a horrible word. I can’t even think of how to put a positive spin on traffic unless you just love listening to music in your car, because that’s about the only thing you can do while chilling in your car for extended periods of time.

Last night… I landed at the airport at my typical 645… get to my car… I expected to be home around 715… man was I wrong when I realized they had closed off a major 3 lane freeway at 7:00 PM due to construction and were making everyone exit the freeway (3 lanes went down to 1).

About a mile before the construction, when there was a lot of traffic, I see several people exiting. This is where I fall into my typical conundrum, because I cannot see how much further the traffic goes, I always tend to think, maybe its just over this next hill. However, that always seems to be the wrong assumption because every time I get to the top of the hill, its all traffic until the next hill.

8:15 rolls around… I finally get home, an hour after my expected time. Who hasn’t had this happen? What if I had been pregnant (assuming I was a woman)?

Anyways, all in all, I believe there needs to be some kind of web site posting that notifies people when and where large construction events will be taking place. It should be the construction company’s responsibility to have someone post where and when construction will be happening at least one week in advance. This way I could check the site every Monday… and then I would not have any problems because I could always figure out a way around it.

Alive

“I am reborn. This is my dawn. Real life has just begun.”
- Chris McCandeless

Have you had one of those days when you wake up… and you feel like a completely different person and you believe everything about you may have just changed over night? I don’t believe that I have, but it is something we all sometimes probably need to happen. Starting fresh is the easiest way for all your problems to disappear. Some problems are unsolvable, so the only way to move past them is to start fresh.

Problems are something we all have, and if we did not have any, then life would be boring. But the problems that continue to nag away consistently gets old and it would be nice to have the ability to cleanse those issues. Maybe someday someone will invent such a machine that has the ablity to perform this amazing feature.

Have a great November 2.

Chris McCandless once said...

“Don’t settle down and sit in one place. Move around, be nomadic, make each day a new horizon”
- Chris McCandless

The above quote by Chris McCandless I found in a book I am reading called Into the Wild (written by Jon Krakauer) which is the story of Chris’s journeys through out the United States, up until he died in Alaska at the age of 24. Essentially he gave up pretty much everything he had in 1990 and started hitchhiking to places, finding small jobs to barely live off, spent weeks without any human interaction, met several new acquaintances and stayed with them for periods of time, and eventually living his dream of hiking the Stamped Trail in Fairbanks Alaska. Some people think that Chris was crazy for what he did, but this was a dream of his he had and he wanted to fulfill, even if that meant death. Many people go through life having dreams, but never making an attempt at them due to fear of failure. Chris can at least say he tried.

Make each day a new horizon must mean something along the lines of make the best of the bad situations. Life is going to be rough and tough at times, but you have to keep going and progress so you can see new things and learn what this world has to offer. One problem I believe many people have regarding certain situations is they tend to look at the short term because it is the easiest to see. We all do this, when in fact in all situations if you look at something in the long term, you will soon realize everything will be alright. Life is short, so keep moving and don’t stop, because before you know it, it will all be over.